Oh good. 

She keeps singing. It's not like she's going to go hoarse anytime soon, and she does enjoy it. Fortunately she also knows more than just the one lullaby, as well as songs that aren't strictly lullabies but have good melodies for it, so she's not going to get bored of just the one anytime soon. 

Savil pokes her head in quietly a few minutes later. :...Oh, they're asleep? Goodness, they look so - I don't even know - goddamnit I'm going to cry: She swipes at her eyes. :You'll, er, stay? I'll be in the room right next door: She gestures with her chin. 

:Yeah, I'll be right here.:

Savil goes off to her bedroom. 

Vanyel sleeps through the night, more deeply and restfully than he has in many months.

When he wakes up, still in Tylendel's arms, and opens his eyes to see the familiar bookshelf and fireplace, for a moment... Well, just for an instant he doesn't even notice the confusion, of course he's here, at home, in Haven, with 'Lendel. And then – gods was all of it just a nightmare, the last almost-year of horror – and then the even worse thought, what if this is the part that's a dream, but no, even in his dreams where Tylendel is there it doesn't feel like he's still lifebonded. That part is unmistakeable. 

And the voice singing softly is one he knows. 

:It's not a dream, Chosen: Yfandes confirms. :Remember yesterday?: 

Now he does. 

He stays perfectly still, 'Lendel is asleep and holding him and Vanyel doesn't want either of those things to change, but he does reach out with a soft Mindtouch. :Lucy?: 

:Good morning!:

:Good morning! Thank you for, um, staying: 

Vanyel lies still for a while. Everything should be perfect, he's warm and safe and 'Lendel is there breathing beside him, but – for some reason he still can't relax. For some reason there's a pressure in his throat and prickling in his eyes and it's so stupid and he doesn't understand. 

:Lucy?: he reaches out again. :I feel really: he was about to say 'sad' but that isn't even it, :I feel like - something's wrong, and I don't know why: 

:Well, he was dead for most of a year and probably you built up some mental scar tissue in that time, the scar tissue would still be there even though the wound's closed. And you might be upset with him for fucking up like that?:

:I'm not mad at him: There should probably be a 'yet' in that sentence but Vanyel is steering away as hard as he can from even that possibility. :It's stupid, I feel like I can't talk to him. Like I...used to know him and now I don't. But he's the same. I guess I'm the one who changed?: And now he's crying for a completely ridiculous reason. Again. 

:Yeah. He was dead for a while and a lot happened in that time. There's not a lot we can do to fix that, besides telling him about the interim and just...letting you two get to know each other again. I--what I did fixed the worst part, the hardest part, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything left to fix. I would love it if I could just make everything all better immediately but I can't, magic only goes so far, all I can do now is be here for you two and be an external perspective that's much less traumatized to give advice.:

:Thank you: It does feel less overwhelming, with Lucy there. :I should talk to him when he wakes up. Tell him about the important things that changed me a lot: And now his teeth are trying to clench again. :I'm scared to. He feels so guilty already and I don't want him to feel worse and he will, if I tell him honestly how bad things were: 

:Last night after you fell asleep he asked me to tell him honestly how bad it was and I told him about the river and about how the Gate ripped your channels open.:

:Oh: Why hadn't it even occurred to him that Tylendel might also notice the holes in his knowledge and ask? :How, um, did he react?: 

:He felt really guilty and I told him about how my mom died as an object lesson in how fucking up really bad doesn't turn you into a monster who doesn't deserve to be loved.:

:...Did telling him that help?: Lucy told him the story and it was comforting even though it's really a very weird example of comfort, but Vanyel finds it hard to guess if Tylendel would have reacted the same way. 

:I think so, but he was still feeling pretty guilty when he went to sleep.:

:I wish he didn–: Vanyel stops himself. :No, I don't wish that, it's – if he didn't feel guilty that'd feel even worse. Just, I wish he could do it more quietly? It's so awful, feeling him being upset... But that's really unfair, saying he's only allowed to have his feelings if it's the right way:

He takes some more slow breaths, steels himself. :I guess I need to be brave about it, and...tell him the important things, if he gets upset I can handle it. It still won't hurt as much as it did before: 

:Is that the bond or just Empathy, that you can feel it? Either way it seems like it's going to make things unnecessarily harder.:

Vanyel has to think about that. :It's both? It's the bond, but – more than before, when I wasn't an Empath too. It's like there's echoes now. I...can shield that too, if I try: He involuntarily grasps for Tylendel. :But, I don't know, it feels scary. Feeling him there less: 

:I can see how it would. I definitely agree that it's probably going to be harder to work things out than if the emotional cross-contamination weren't happening. I dunno, don't...think there's something wrong with it not being instantly perfect? Things are much much better than they were when yesterday started but that doesn't mean they're all better and it's not wrong for you to not go 'things are much much better and so I am completely and uncomplicatedly happy.':

:That makes sense. Thank you: Vanyel relaxes a bit, and is able to enjoy just being there, with Tylendel nearby. 

Tylendel wakes up a few minutes later, stirs, his arms tighten around Vanyel even before he's properly awake and - honestly that's not anything new or special, he used to do it every morning, but it still makes Vanyel start crying again. 

"...Ashke?" Tylendel, confused, blinks his way to full alertness. Oh. Right. The shame rises again in his throat, hot and sick, and now neither of them is very calm anymore. 

Um. Uh. 

Lucy darts out of the room briefly to go check if Savil is awake.

Savil is sitting in the living room area in a robe with a cup of tea, looking at least half awake. 

"Hi they're awake and crying and if you had something to interrupt with that you'd been waiting on because you didn't want to wake them now would be awesome."