Zachary's getting married? Tomorrow? To whom? Wasn't he a teen until yesterday?

Wait hol' up did he just fuck a barely-not-a-teenager.

Wait. Hold on. His brain is having some kind of conniption again.

It's... bad to fuck teens... and not bad to fuck young adults... and that's just a single switch that's flipped ovenight...

Technically Peter might've been a teen last week? Or would've been if he had existed, which he didn't? And he did in fact fuck some people the day he came to existence as a young adult?

How do people age, actually. Like, if there's a handful of life stages. When he thinks about children they're yea tall, and teens are yea tall, and he can't think of any heights people could be that would be between those but then, like, what... happens instead. If it's not. Growing up through all of the intermediate heights.

Just what the fuck, man.

"Simoleon for your thoughts?" asks Zachary, walking up to Peter to offer him a plate with a slice of cake.

It would be rude to refuse the cake even though he doesn't really like sweets like that so he accepts it he guesses.

"Just thinking about the weird way we progress through life."

"What's weird about it?"

"There is a small handful of life stages that we somehow metamorphose between like caterpillars and I have no idea how that happens. Like, were you a teen yesterday?"

"Yeah...?"

"And now you're not."

"No, 'cause it's my birthday!"

Yes, he knows.

"So at what point did you become a young adult, exactly?"

"Earlier today?"

"And how did that, like, happen. Was it instantaneous? Did you suddenly age up in a puff of smoke?"

"I don't think there was any smoke involved. That's more Alexei's wheelhouse."

"Who?" That name rings a bell...

"My fiancé!"

...awwwwww it's so cute how happy he looks just to say that?

Peter is suddenly feeling sad about the fact that he is not going to have a partner anytime soon.

"Is he here? Can you introduce me?"

"No, he doesn't like crowds."

"Oh. He didn't come to your birthday party?"

"No. But he was here this morning."

"Oh, fair enough. Were you two, uh, high school sweethearts or?"

"We've known each other since we were little!"