Happy wiggles. "I think most people date people who have physical traits they find attractive! I have read this in several textbooks." He traces circles on Martin's chest under his shirt. 

It is very distracting when Lev wiggles on his lap. Especially when tracing circles under his shirt. “You’re so good,” he eventually declares, combing Lev’s hair with his hands. 

However distracting he is, Lev is not going to be distracted from his purpose here!

"You get all excited when you talk about spiders. You cry at movies. When you're overwhelmed by a social situation, you bring people tea. You're smart and you don't know that much which is a great combination because I really like explaining things. You ask good questions. You have anxiety like me. You don't mind being infodumped at. You bring me food when I don't eat and moved in with me when I couldn't sleep alone and don't mind that I don't want to kiss you yet. You put up with me in general even though I am kind of hard to put up with. You give good hugs. It is ridiculously easy to make you happy. You haven't told your mom to fuck off which makes you a significantly better person than me. You have a cute face." He kisses the aforementioned cute face. 

In that case, Martin is going to blush a lot and stare at Lev with the expression of a lovestruck puppy. “I love you.”

"See, this is what I mean when I say it is ridiculously easy to make you happy."

More forehead kisses. “I didn’t deny that one, did I? I didn’t even argue with any of them. Even though you are really not hard at all to ‘put up with’.”

"Objectively I'm an ugly, incredibly messy, socially phobic, anxious workaholic with a monomaniacal interest in psychology who still somehow doesn't understand people and whose pervasive self-worth issues can only be solved by a Nobel Prize and even then."

“Objectively you are an excellent teacher and you’re really smart and good at what you do and your response to getting mind controlled is to make Anki decks reminding you to be a good person and you care so much about trying to understand people and you wiggle when you’re happy and you are opinionated enough to tell off your boss when he’s wrong about something and you don’t care that I’m a fat ugly stupid dropout who lied to get his job and whenever I say things like that you respond by listing off a bunch of compliments and you offered to support me and my mom on your own when by any reasonable standard we had just met and you would have been justified by firing me on the spot. Also I think you have a cute face too. Especially when you smile. Or when you get really invested in explaining things and you’re really focused and animated.” Is it time for cheek kisses? Martin thinks it is time for cheek kisses. 

No, it is time for Lev to headbutt his shoulder. "Not stupid. Or ugly. Stop being mean to my boyfriend."

“I dunno if I should listen to the opinion of someone who just insulted my boyfriend.” Lev is going to get kisses on the top of his head, then. “But I’ll consider it if you consider that you are also not ugly.”

"I agree you don't think I'm ugly. --We're getting distracted! I had a question! It was important."

“And I agree that you don’t think I’m ugly! Really not the point! —Wait, what was your question. Um. Sorry.”

"In the unlikely event that I want to date someone and they also want to date me I want to be able to date them."

“Right. Yeah. 

...I’m still kind of confused why you would want to date me if you could date, like, literally anyone else? But I guess that’s still true if we’re, um, monogamous, you’d just have to break up with me first, so— yeah, sure.” Thoughtful pause. “Maybe if we both ganged up on you about how cute your face is, then you’d have to believe us.”

"Well, maybe the other person won't bring me dinner, and then what would happen?"

Lev has a plan. His plan is that he should kiss Martin's neck and run his hands across Martin's sides and stomach. 

“Well, then you wouldn’t eat dinner, probably. Can’t have that happen.” Does this new plan involve a VULNERABILITY TO CHEEK KISSES?

It does! And then it involves tugging Martin's shirt off.

Martin is just going to blush very very fiercely and try not to think about how bad he thinks he looks with his shirt off. Instead he is going to focus very hard on doing an empirical test of how many kisses fit on Lev’s face. Since they don’t, in fact, take up any physical space, he has hope that the answer will be “lots”.

"I love you."

Now Lev's shirt will come off and now they will see the true enormity of Lev's plan. It involves pressing his face into Martin's shoulder and his chest into Martin's chest and going "waaaaaarm."

...Giggle. “I love you too.” Martin decides that this is very good actually on account of how it allows for Maximum Snuggle. 

(That night when Lev falls asleep he says "Maaaaartin.")

(He dreams of Naomi again before he wakes up.)

Well, that's about what he expected, isn't it.

On the way to work, he stops in at a store and buys an Oujia board and a deck of tarot cards. (He wears gloves and doesn't touch them.) Then he takes his psych tests to see what changed after the half-statement Tim gave him. 

Same psychological changes as the other live statement. Apparently, it doesn’t matter if it’s written or not. 

Well, he doesn't know that, it could be because he heard some of it. Lev is agnostic as to the cause of personality changes. 

He stashes the Oujia board and the Tarot cards in the Archive, and then looks for Martin.