Lev thinks about this.

And then he goes to the filing cabinet, takes out one of the non-digitizable statements, and reads it into the tape recorder.

Sasha did some followup research on the statement of Nathan Watts since Lev saw it first. While the investigation at the time turned up no corroboration, there have since been a chain of disappearances from the same place Nathan claimed to have seen the figure: Jessica McEwen in November 2005, Sarah Baldwin in August 2006, Daniel Rawlings in December 2006, Ashley Dobson and Megan Shaw in May and June of 2008, and John Fellowes in March 2010. Some or all of them might be coincidence, but it’s a worrying pattern. At least two of them were definitely smokers. 

She also found the last picture Ashley Dobson texted her sister, captioned “check out this drunk creeper lol”. The alleyway and the stairs appear just as Nathan Watts described them. There appeared at first to be nobody in the picture, but increasing exposure and contrast enough revealed the outline of a long, beckoning hand. 

This is not what Lev is thinking about as he reads the statement. 

Reading the statement feels like—channeling something, almost. Like stepping out of his skin and into Nathan’s. It feels vivid, real, as though Lev were experiencing it himself, as though he were the one having Nathan’s thoughts and feelings, noticing the sights and sounds. It’s riveting; as soon as he starts, he doesn’t want to stop reading. 

It’s hard to tell if he feels less watched or more. Maybe both. He feels more tired than is probably normal, given that all he did was read a sheet of paper, but he also feels weirdly satisfied, like something is unaccountably correct with the world.  

But more than any of that, more than anything, Lev feels the burn of curiosity in his gut deepen. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

holy fuck reading the non-digitized statements is mind control

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

The tape recorder just sits on his desk, whirring. 

He needs to find Martin and process it.

He needs to not bother Martin with his stupid stupid feelings since Martin is, you know, his employee, and probably getting kind of sick of this by this point.

He needs to take notes on this as much as he can before he forgets because he is not going to do this a second time.

He needs to figure out how to-- scrub his brain clean-- from the thing that took it over-- he needs to figure out how to fix it--

He needs to delete the tape recording.

He needs to run out of here and quit his job and never come back and wear gloves everywhere and be an adjunct professor and pretend that he didn't know that the paranormal is real--

He needs Asher.

He digs his fingernails into his hands and forces himself to take slow, deep, calm breaths. Then he forces himself to sit down and write out everything he can remember about the experience before it gets contaminated by things other people say. Then he forces himself to take slow, deep, calm breaths again. Then he stands up and walks very, very slowly to the place where Martin works. He makes himself a cup of tea, forcing himself to concentrate on the feel of the mug in his hands and the heat of the water and the sound of the kettle. (He'd have to do it very deliberately anyway. His hands are shaking.) And then he sits and opens his introduction to library science textbook and pretends to read it and breathes. And breathes. 

The library science textbook informs him that gloves (typically cotton or latex) are recommended for handling old documents, as the oil on your hands can damage them. 

Martin makes him more tea whenever his either runs out or gets cold. 

Martin is good!

Lev is visibly incredibly freaked out.

After a while, Martin is going to say very tentatively: “Are you okay? ...Stupid question, I know, but.”

(Since Lev started freaking out, the being-watched feeling has been intense.)

"I'm fine! I should get dinner! Do you want to join me!" he says, too quickly, and ignoring the fact that it is 3pm.

Martin looks at Lev, then at the time, then back at Lev. “...Sure!”

Off to the Indian place!

Does he feel less watched when he leaves the Archives?

Yes, but it’s not down to zero like it normally is, and it gets a bit higher whenever he gets more freaked out. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"...the non-digitizable statements mind control you when you read them into a tape recorder."

“......................That’s not great!”

"It's really not! And now the watching thing won't leave me alone and is watching me especially more intensely when I'm freaking out! Except that just makes me freak out more!"

“Maybe that’s the point? To get you trapped in a loop?”

"Unfortunately I'm not very good at not being freaked out when things are controlling my mind!!"

“—Okay, yeah, that’s... that’s fair. What happened?”

Deep breath.

"I read the statement into the tape recorder and it felt like I-- became the person in the statement. And then once I was finished I was incredibly tired and I felt weirdly satisfied, like everything was correct, and I was even more curious than I am normally. --I wrote up notes right afterward, I can type them up and give them to you."

“Okay. That’s... that’s not great but it is in fact better than I was afraid of when you told me you had been mind controlled? Um, the notes would probably be good. I’m really sorry, Lev.”

"What I want to do," he says, "is quit and go back to adjuncting."

“Then... do that? I mean, don't get me wrong! I’ll miss you! But, um. You seem really upset?”

"Maybe I will." They arrive at the Indian place and he grabs a menu. He was not lying about needing food. "...but if I do that I won't get to understand how it works."

“...On the one hand, this is basically what I would have expected you to say. On the other hand, you did say it mind controlled you to make you more curious?”

"...I object to things messing around in my head without my knowledge but I don't really care if I'm more curious than I was before."