She shivers. "Want you too. D'you - have a plan yet - "

" - still not any good at words -" He reaches down and touches her, uncertainly - "you're going to have to tell me where -"

Nodnodnod. "Not actually an expert, but - "

She takes his hand and guides it. She whimpers happily. "There - like that - ah - "

Happy squirming. All of the fears that she wouldn't like this enough seem stupid, now, Hagan is touching her and he loves her and he married her and he doesn't think she's stupid or pathetic at all and he's touching her and she's happy and that's okay - 

"Never - wasn't like this alone - gods, Hagan - "

"Love you."

"Love you so much. D'you - need anything - "

"I wanna - once you're ready - but it's supposed to be easier if you're ready -"

Nodnodnodnod. "It is, yeah. You could - I think you're supposed to try a finger first - ?"

Advice he has heard about this includes 'there will probably be a lot of blood everywhere' and 'it won't be a problem at all' and 'unfortunately the more it hurts her the nicer for you' and 'she won't really be able to tell at all' and most people get themselves straightened out on this front before getting married, probably, but he spent the six months before their wedding alone in the woods with her having dreams where it wasn't that complicated so he's still not entirely sure how much everyone was lying. But he can try that.

- it hurts. Sometimes it does hurt, right, she's read enough to know that, it doesn't hurt once you're ready but that's why you're supposed to test with fingers first, to make sure you're ready, so you don't take all the hurt at once and can space it out so it only stretches a little at any one time, or something. Is her impression. She kind of didn't expect it to hurt this much, it's not quite unbearable but she would've thought that something people did for fun would be more, like, fun -

- as long as it hurts less at some point she can give him the go ahead for more and then - presumably it'll keep hurting some until she's all the way ready, but maybe it won't hurt any more than this - 

She hisses. Doesn't say anything.

"Mmmm?"

Aaaa why does it hurt this much it's not supposed to hurt this much. This is what she gets for getting all of her ideas about sex from the library's erotic poetry section and her sister's rants about Calistria.

" - hurts."

He takes his hand away. "Maybe I did it wrong?"

She winces. That's better but it doesn't instantly make things stop hurting, that's annoying.

"Maybe? I dunno. Haven't done this before."

"Wish we had healing on hand - do you want to try -"

"I have one cure light wounds today. Wanna - save it, in case we screw up worse. But I can try. Can you - hold me while I do - "

"Course."

Snuggle.

She can make herself feel nice again, thinking about him, though it's kind of harder now that she's nervous about stuff. She can't figure out how to insert anything without hurting herself. This is kind of upsetting, given that, like, she wants Hagan to have the thing he's waited for, and also she's been waiting for it and if you're patient and give it a while it's not supposed to hurt.

"Dunno how to make it painless. We could - try it anyway, if maybe it's somehow different and we're just doing this part wrong, but - I think if it's any worse than this we'd have to stop, it's - it's not a good way to start things, I don't think - but I wanna try - "

"Then we can try, and it it doesn't work we can do the cure spell and try again tomorrow." Kiss.

Snuggle.

"Love you very much."

"Oh good. We'll figure it out."

"Mhmm. Lotsa people more clueless than us have."

Maybe she can kiss him again until - she's not really sure how you tell if you're ready if she's assuming that trying a finger doesn't actually work, really, but until he thinks they should try again, anyway.

He also doesn't really know what to do here. Once she seems cheered up, maybe?

Makes sense. She can kiss him until she's feeling less discouraged about this, then.

"Want you."