Dec 15, 2019 2:34 AM
osirians
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He passes them menus. 

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"We actually can't read these, this translation spell doesn't do writing."

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"Ah. Well, Karen can order for all of us, I'm sure she'll have good recommendations. Any vegetarians?"

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" - I have never heard of that. No."

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So she gets a bunch of fruit pancakes and french toast and crepes and juice and milk and soda and sausage patties and scrambled eggs and bacon and hash browns and some milkshakes and tells everybody to grab whatever looks good. 

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Their guests are in fact fairly awed by IHOP. 

 

By daylight they look stranger and more obviously out of place; Hagan is wearing leather armor, and Fazil is wearing very finely made chainmail and all three of them are wearing hand-stitched clothes and elaborate foreign jewelry. They eat a lot of food, very contentedly.

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Well, they do sort of look like D&D characters, even if she tells herself that this is a really dumb hypothesis.

"So. Fazil. You said the spell you used to dust the vampires is mostly used by clerics where you come from?"

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"Yes. And paladins."

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And the D&D stuff just keeps coming. "Could you elaborate on what those categories are?"

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"Clerics are chosen by their god because he sees in them either the habit or the potential to act in a way that advances the god's goals in the world. For my god, that's people who deal justly with others and work hard at valuable things and serve their country; for another one it might be people who spread the god's teachings aggressively, or people who help the desperate and needy, or people who fight evil, or there are evil gods who want their clerics to spread evil and give them power for doing that. 

Paladins are somewhat similar, but they largely advance the interests of their god through fighting their god's enemies, and they must commit themselves to a code of conduct stricter than those typically implied just by following a god. All paladins are lawful, but you could be a lawless cleric of a lawless god."

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"What does that - mean, when you say 'lawful' like that."

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" - I don't know what it is translating as, if you don't have the concept. Where do people from this plane go when they die?"

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"This is a hotly debated question among people from this plane."

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"Oh. Well almost everyone on our plane who dies goes to one of nine afterlives. They're sorted based on the characteristics they displayed and nurtured in life. Lawfulness is the habit of following the rules; not necessarily the laws of your country, though it's really helpful for your lawfulness to follow the laws of your country, but also the code of your religion, the terms of your agreements, your word, when you give it, and so on. And then goodness is about the willingness to serve others and protect the vulnerable. The good afterlives are mostly nice places to live, and the lawful neutral afterlife is a good place to live - arguably better than the good ones, since it's meant to be home to far more people - and then the other afterlives are mostly bad. So people care a great deal about where they're headed."

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"Huh."

Gary Gygax is so a warlock.

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Huh. This all fits?

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Parts of it are not exact? But an alignment system that sorts people on good and evil and law and chaos, that's a concept that's in Dungeons and Dragons and as far as I know nowhere else?

"So these, like, alignments, you sort everyone into good and evil and lawful and chaotic and then refer to individual people as, like, lawful good, or chaotic evil, or whatever?"

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" - this is so bizarre."

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"How so?"

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Sigh. "We have a moderately popular, like, tabletop game that involves a world that uses a lot of rules like the ones you're describing. It's supposed to be fictional but I'm kind of suspecting the creators of somehow gaining knowledge of other dimensions. Which isn't even that weird, it's just, like - I don't have any recognizable fictional franchises to communicate the appropriate level of surreality to you."

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"You'd heard stories from Golarion but thought they were myths?"

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"I don't think we call it Golarion? And like, not myths, I take myths pretty seriously, myths implies that I thought someone thought they were true at some point. I thought that some accountant made a bunch of stuff up for people's amusement like twenty years ago."

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"Huh. So your world has no clerics, no concept of alignments, no knowledge of your afterlife - does scrying not work -"

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"I literally only know what scrying is because of this game."

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