"...does that mean 'does the old Santa have any other policies that I, Lev, find personally offensive'?"

"....yeah it does kind of shape out to that but if all his policies are in, like, a convenient book I can look over, I'd like to have a copy." 

Lev snaps his fingers and summons a leatherbound book entitled LAWS AND POLICIES.

It is very, very large.

"...wow, that's a lot. At least I have a lot of free time. Do you particularly hate any of them?" 

"I have a lot of complaints about how we decide kids are naughty but if we're giving kids presents whether they're naughty or not that doesn't matter. --Mostly I just really hate lying."

"I think I'm going to throw the whole concepts of naughty and nice out entirely, not just give presents to the naughty kids too, but what did you hate about them?" 

"Disobeying your parents is naughtiness, no matter what."

"— everything I hear about this person makes me more glad I hit him over the head with a rolling pin." 

"Lying is naughtiness even if you'll get hurt if you tell the truth, if you fight with your siblings you both get dinged even if it's their fault, not doing your homework is naughtiness even if you're hungry or tired or busy or have ADHD--"

Quiet unhappy sound. 

"Getting rid of the concept altogether sounds good."

"Yeah. — and there's all the obvious examples like shoplifting because you're hungry, or whatever." 

"Yeah-- and a lot of the kids are little, shoplifting is naughtiness even if you don't understand the concept of private property--"

"...did he just — not want to deliver very many presents, or something —"

"Bad kids don't deserve presents."

Sasha opens his mouth to say something and what comes out is, "Good thing deserving is fake." 

"...you're my favorite Santa."

"I don't know that 'better than that guy' is a particularly high bar, but thank you." 

"...you get that kids are supposed to have presents, that's-- it might not be the most important thing for you but it's an important thing--"

'More like, given that my job is to deliver presents to children, I am not such an asshole as to only do it for children who ~deserve it,~' he thinks, and does not say out loud. 

"Thank you." 

"Kids being happy on-- uh, Yule-- is the second most important thing in the world," Lev says firmly.

Tiny smile.

"What's the first most?" 

"You're going to think it's silly. Everyone else does."

"...I can't guarantee that I won't or anything, but even if I do think it's silly I promise I'll believe you that it's the most important thing to you?" 

"...People... like me specifically but everyone really... should believe true things and not false things."