"Because this is where the action is and also I have an excuse. The excuse being that Father Time exists and I'm him."

"How did the conversation with Death-- oh hello!"

"Hi, Lev!" Chirps Father Time. "Always good to see you. I bet you're enjoying getting to do things instead of just watch."

"I have... literally no idea what that means."

"And not knowing things is your favorite way to be, so you're welcome! That and 'falling in love extremely quickly'. It's adorable."

"Do you just go around being incomprehensible all the time, is that your thing?"

"Not all the time. Only when anyone is looking. Or will later decide they were looking. Or when no-one is looking but I want to anyway. Congratulations on believing your senses are connected to external reality, by the way, I know it's really hard for you."

"Uh," says Bruce, suddenly noticeably less confident that his senses are connected to external reality and going entirely too many meta levels up the "but that's what he wants you to think" tree about it.

"I do not fall in love extremely quickly! I am two hundred years old and have not been in love with anyone. --Also I like knowing things!"

"Well, nobody wants to get what they want all the time; then you'd never get to be miserable."

"No, actually, I think the truth is the opposite of that thing you just said."

"...I have to say I appreciated the last two hundred years of not talking to Father Time about whether or not I am miserable. --Are you going to vote for Bruce to be able to go public?"

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm obnoxious but not the kind of obnoxious that slows things down. No, the things that slow you down are mostly self-doubt, weird power dynamics, guilty conscience, nervous virginity . . . oh, but we were talking about the magic reveal."

"Okay seriously what is it with you and my sex life." (Lack of a sex life. Whatever.)

"Good question!"

"Is it a good question you're going to... answer?"

"I don't know and I wouldn't tell you if I did. That's the answer to 'Is it a good question you're going to answer?', not to the prior question. Got to keep the stack in order or you'll find yourself trying to dereference what you thought was a pointer and finding out it was actually a badger." Upon completion of this sentence, Father Time dissolves into a cloud of purple glitter, which fades out of existence over the next several seconds.

"Does . . . that . . . happen a lot?"

"...I can with complete honesty say that that has never happened to me before. What the holly."

Oh my god he says what the holly that's adorable.

"Well, that's two votes down I guess."

"You should probably talk to Jack O'Lantern next, he's also going to be an easy 'yes.'"

"Sounds good." His instinct with assignments is usually to do the hardest one first so it can only get better from there, but in this case it probably is better to do the easy parts first and hope he levels up in politics by the time he gets to the hard parts.

"...do you have any idea what any of that. Meant."

The honest thing to say here would be "it sounds like he was saying I need to get laid" but are those words coming out of his mouth, no they are not. "I should try to write down as much of it as I can remember in case he can see the future and it's important later." He grabs the nearest writing materials (a pen and some post-it notes) and starts taking notes.

"Probably the part about the badger doesn't mean anything important? The part about being slowed down by self-doubt might. Also the part about having a guilty conscience is concerning because I can't tell what he thinks I'm guilty of and that might mean I haven't done it yet."

"I really can't imagine what bad thing you would do."