"If the average person has fewer than two children the population converges to a finite number. Also the carrying capacity of this one solar system is in the trillions. Also it's apparently possible to appear matter out of nowhere so I'm less sure there aren't infinite resources than I used to be."

"I am not a physicist. --Is the average person really going to want fewer than two children over an infinite lifetime? This seems very implausible."

"I expect people would prefer to be able to have more children but if we do run out of resources they won't be able to afford more. I'm not in charge of humanity, thank goodness, so I can't say for sure what people will choose."

It's very strange, having this debate without being sure what he would have to convince Death to believe to win her vote, but it's a good kind of strange because it means all he can do is say what he really believes.

"Hm. I suppose that is a solution. --Although you realize you are going to get people paying other people to die, and I still will have a job."

"Yeah. But--you'll get to take breaks. I--it's honestly impressive how well you're handling it." He's looking forward to being in a lot of places at once for Christmas, just to see what it's like, but that's just one night, and he'll be handing out presents instead of comforting dying people, and he still sort of wishes he could keep all the memories even though he knows they'd crowd out his memories of the rest of his life.

"Hm. --I do not so much mind not taking breaks. The real problem with being Death is that no one visits you more than once."

"I could visit you more than once." His mouth says this before his brain evaluates whether it's a good idea, but once he's said it it doesn't feel like a bad enough idea to want to try to take it back.

"Perhaps. --I suppose if people knew they existed I would not be limited to doing my job. I could go bowling. Go to a knitting club. Take up golf."

"Although perhaps I'd have to have a less upsetting form."

"Yeah, if you got recognized you'd probably get the same questions over and over."

"Well, I do have to look like death, but fortunately there are options."

"You mean you can look like any human depiction of Death, or something else?"

"I can look like any human depiction of Death, and a human depiction of death looks like me."

"Yeah, I bet you can avoid getting recognized if you swap around between cultural contexts."

"It is alienating not to be recognized because I cannot talk about the vast majority of my experiences."

Wanting to talk about your experiences with people sounds fake but okay. "Fair."

"But I guess if we go public I can at least hang out with goths."

"I bet they'll think you're cool."

"I hope so! --I am not sure your utopia plans are very well thought out."

"They're not. That's--part of the reason I want to go public, actually. I don't want to, to impose utopia on people from outside. I want to make people aware of the resources I have and help them use them as well as possible. I'm not good enough to solve all the world's problems on my own, but I can get more people working on the problem."

"Makes sense. You can have my vote."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." He's kind of out of things to say but suggesting she leave the minute she's said she'll vote to go public would be rude and also bad politics.

Fortunately she can just disappear on her own.

Being able to instantly reallocate your consciousness is great for avoiding awkward small talk. And now he gets to go do something that isn't having an awkward, high-stakes interaction with a stranger!

Orrrrr he could talk to the old man with a comical amount of beard who just appeared between him and the door.

"Good [unspecified time of day]! Cheer up; you're much better at Christmas than you are at sex."