You all go around with whips and collars and have paperwork marriages and have a holiday to commemorate the non-birthdate of someone who people mistakenly think related to a god but the holiday's more about reindeer and old men with hair on their face but ugly sweaters are still the weirdest tradition.

Just one old man with hair on his face. Not the lot of them as a class. Also some of us have canes instead of whips. Much more practical.

For hitting people? Or is it more that it has non-hitting-people applications - what precisely is the appeal of hitting people, human literature seems to sort of assume it apparent -

Some people just like it? I don't have a specific thing about it myself, I just actually needed something to walk with and it's a whole look.

Ah, makes sense.

And if there were no sadists what would the poor masochists do.

I think the ones here mostly do extreme sports. 

I am not personally a masochist either so I'm not sure if that would suit, but maybe for some of 'em.

If you don't have any other options - maybe there'll eventually be masochist Elves seeking out humans to beat them up, that'll work well because we're pretty durable -

That is a strangely adorable idea.

Problem is even though I know who'd benefit it'd come across as rude and threatening to suggest it.

How'd you come by the information in the first place?

I just - know people pretty well? And now that I have the concept, I can sort of tell after a while who it fits and who is actually - most people are actually nondynamic.

Have you got a percentage?

Eighty, ninety? Nondynamic? It's lower with people who are interested in the same gender, I can't tell if that's because - transgressiveness - entails it or if it's because of the cultural assumptions we have there -

Huh. Human nondynamics are really rare - possible some people are just lying for human cultural reasons but plenty of people are willing to self-report as switches and that's still kind of irregular -

I'm limited in that it's rude to ask people about sex. But there are some ways to get at it and we mostly just are.

One of those things, I suppose. You are still very humanlike for otherworldy aliens.

You are very Quendi-like for an evolved species.

Apparently bipedalism is not only aesthetic but also useful, or something.

And the eyes-nose-mouth arrangement, and hair on the head -

Did animals here evolve?

From a few initial created species, mostly microbes, and with Vala tweaking.

Huh. Weird.

Yeah.