"I wasn't really thinking about whether you wanted the thing. Earlier. I think?"

"Well I acknowledge that is not great."

"And if I'm the sort of person who doesn't think about that sort of thing I'd expect that to stay the case?"

"Not necessarily, psychological backlash can kind of have flavors, did I tell you about this already?"

"I-don't think so?"

"So like my backlash is that I'm really lonely but my flavors are, like, being anxious that I'm trying to socialize wrong and that's why it's not working like it's supposed to, and being touch-starved - that one seems mostly the least bad - and thinking that nobody else is real and that's why I'm so lonely, that one's the worst. And if you have a psychological backlash you might have flavors too but I don't know what they are except that for one of them you were, uh, touchier and less verbal, and now you're talking, so I bet those are different, and I don't know if it's just those two."

"I think..."

"I noticed I had missed that I was responsible for the city being destroyed and needed to turn myself in and I called a Master-Stranger alert as a result of that. And then Skitter decided the correct response to that was to put me on a boat with you and you touched me and it was like the sun was touching me and. I think you know the rest? And probably the prior part too I guess."

"- well the thing where touching me is like sunshine is guiding, the part before that was probably more informative about your backlash. You thought you were responsible for the city being destroyed? I thought that was Leviathan?"

"I collapsed buildings and dug trenches that wrecked the street and probably other stuff."

"Probably?"

"I assume so, since the city is in such a bad state and it's my fault and the stuff I just mentioned probably wouldn't be enough to do that on its own."

"...oh, I think I get it. And when you were - less verbal, what were you thinking about then?"

"When I um. Touched you?"

"Yeah."

"I was thinking that you were very good and I wanted to touch and I was um."

"Very horny about this? Because I am a bad person?"

"It is so completely normal to be horny about highly compatible guiding but like what was your backlash doing."

"I don't really remember many thoughts from then?"

"Well that's kind of concerning."

"Yeah."

"I think backlashes are more - coherent with themselves, than, 'sometimes you think everything is your fault and sometimes you think nothing at all'? That's weird? You really don't remember anything?"

"I remember what was happening? I guess I was thinking somewhat but not coherently? I thought that I liked the things that were happening and wanted more of them and it didn't occur to me to think of anything else because there was just... so much and it was so confusing and didn't make sense. And what did make sense was taking actions about the things being nice."

"I guess that coheres a little. If it just makes you weirdly - self-centered - so if things are bad you think that's your fault and if they're good then that's the only thing that matters -? Does that sound right?"

"I... maybe? I was not thinking about things other than myself and some of that could have been backlash. Some of that could also have been me being a terrible person or my brain being overwhelmed by sudden mind control from one direction and then another wave of mind control from the other."

"There's more mind control? Besides backlash?"

"The guiding?"