some only had hearts that were brave and true

books-and-bodies

Karen Teller is having a really, really, really terrible month.

(In the privacy of her own brain, she is willing to admit that if ever there were a month that was downright shitty, this would be it.)

Her sister is dead. Not, like, gone to heaven dead, stuck on earth as a ghost dead. Her niece is still a werewolf, and is making progress on her apparent goal of scratching up every piece of furniture in the house. Also she got a D on a history test. Just straight-up got a D, on a history test, because she's been too dead all month to even listen during lectures. And she's too - proud, or scared, or something, to call in her parents for help, so she's just living in this house with a ghost and a tiny werewolf and an elementary schooler and hoping that nothing goes horribly horribly wrong before she graduates.

She has a job. It even pays enough to hire the nanny all day. Which is, you know, super. It starts at six and ends at nine, and is all the way across town, and she can't drive, so when she's lucky she gets home around ten, and she mostly doesn't take a stab at her homework because by that time she doesn't want to do anything at all. She does manage to take a shower, usually, because she's been handling dead bodies, because, oh yeah, she works at a cemetery, which is why it pays so well.

Also, she finds out today, there are zombies. Just, y'know, actual zombies, wandering around the catacombs under the mausoleum, which is probably why the caretaker gave her a mace, although honestly this is a thoroughly ridiculous way to handle this problem and you would THINK, if you knew that there were zombies infesting your catacombs, you would be able to seal them off and move your business somewhere safer, or at least come up with a solution that's less completely stupid than arming sixteen-year-olds with medieval weaponry and expecting them to fend for themselves.

This is mostly what she's thinking about when she takes out the zombie that's about to take a bite out of her coworker's shoulder. She has to assume that the actual contact is, like, instinct, or something. She hits it again, after, for good measure, and again, until its face is completely smashed in, because maybe she can't beat the crap out of this horrible, horrible month, but at least she can make sure this fricking literal walking corpse isn't going to make anything any worse.

"There. Dead zombie. Hopefully it stays that way this time."

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books-and-bodies

"I see. I'll have to not get kidnapped, then."

not-like-i-care

"Shouldn't be too hard. What with there not being fairies around here and you knowing how they work."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah, I feel almost prepared for this."

not-like-i-care

"Good night."

books-and-bodies

"Yeah. Night."

She heads off to bed. It occurs to her at some point during this process that she doesn't actually know what counts as a room. She leaves her door open a little bit and then climbs into bed and then says "Hey, Connor," very quietly.

She gets up and peeks out of her room. "Did you hear that?"

not-like-i-care

"Yeah. What?"

books-and-bodies

"Nothing, sorry, testing what a room is. Doesn't count as a separate room if there's a door open. Sorry. Go to sleep."

not-like-i-care

"Okay. Good night."

books-and-bodies

She closes her door and heads to bed and resists the urge to do any more experiments tonight. Also resists the urge to open the door and whisper random things to Connor. This is a weird thing to be tempted to do given that he can't even whisper back.

She keeps whispering to people whenever it's convenient. She does her jobs and reads to Zana and reads to Connor, and she checks her spellbook about once a day to see if anything in it has changed.

About a week later there's one.

Spell: Shelve

Books go where they belong.

To learn the spell, go to a bookshelf. Take a book off the shelf. Say: Luezoid. Take another book of the shelf. Say: Chesture. Put the books back on the shelf in the place you took them from.

books-and-bodies

...cool? Not as cool as the list of a hundred, but at least it's something she'll use?

She learns the spell and then looks at a stack of books on the table and... what is she supposed to do, like, think "shelve" at them?

That does it! They go back on the bookshelf.

books-and-bodies

....huh.

"Well. Got a new spell but did not get the list again. I can make unshelved books return to their shelves."

not-like-i-care

"Huh. I guess that'll make work go a lot faster?"

books-and-bodies

"I guess so. The pay is hourly, so I'm not really sure how much it gets me, but - yeah, at least it's something I'll actually use."

She does use it at work, though only when she's sure nobody's looking at her. It doesn't make things go very much faster, mostly because she has to spend a lot of time making sure nobody's looking.

not-like-i-care

He explains the situation to his family. He teaches Zana to climb trees. He figures out how to fix the shower.

Ten days later there's another spell.

Spell: Blink

When you perform another spell, no one will notice.

To learn this spell, find a room in a building that contains other people. They should not see you while you are learning the spell. Lock the door. Stand against the closed door. Whisper mofoblitz, losenoid, loodon rowlow.

books-and-bodies

Oh cool.

She learns the spell.

She uses shelve at work constantly.

People think she is a very hard worker.

not-like-i-care

They read some more books. Human history is kind of depressing. The stories that are obviously pretend are better.

books-and-bodies

She has lots of stories that are obviously pretend, once she's slightly less concerned about his general lack of history knowledge.

Towards the end of June, her parents call. They were assuming that Azalea would set up Karen coming home for six weeks or so, since it's summer and they are her parents, but since she hasn't done so they're calling to insist that this happen soon.

"So... is there a way to make it so I can lie again without this having horrible consequences."

not-like-i-care

"Yes, but should we be doing that or should we tell your parents to go fuck off."

books-and-bodies

"You don't actually get to do that until you're eighteen. Legally. Unless your parents are abusive or negligent, and that would just get me stuck with different adults who wouldn't let us all live together. Probably not adults in this town."

not-like-i-care

Sigh. "I guess. Uh, if we're not entangled and you're not at all entangled with any of my family which you probably aren't then you can lie, as long as it's not to me."

books-and-bodies

"I am probably not. Last time I talked to any of your brothers they told me we were even. How do we get us even inside a week, I'm not really sure how big a debt we have right now? I assume it can't be that big?"

not-like-i-care