This post has the following content warnings:
Lev is sitting at a coffeeshop, eating a cookie, studying electrical engineering, and absently contemplating suicide in the manner of someone who is not actually going to kill himself but is not quite ready to give up all hope.
He sips at his iced tea. It's weird. It tastes a little fruitier than usual. Maybe they're trying a new recipe? It's good, though, and it doesn't take long before he finishes it.
"You know those ASMR videos where a woman is whispering while she puts on your makeup?"
"I had a girlfriend who didn't like porn so I stopped using it and, well. Even once we broke up the ASMR videos are often better."
"Probably they look less like their skin is made of rubber and sound less like they're faking every noise they make, I'm not that surprised." She kisses him again.
"And, you know, who wants their sexual fantasies to actually have sex in them? Not me."
Sasha leans on Lev and tries to think of a something to share that would feel symmetrical and runs into the problem that she doesn't so much have deliberate sexual fantasies anymore.
"Maybe, like, five percent of my sexual fantasies have any actual sex in them. More if you count ones where sex presumably happened somewhere in the background, like the ones where I'm pregnant or it's my wedding day."
It's... weird to tell Sasha this. He's never told anyone, and he's known her for less than a day. But whenever he looks at her he knows she's a safe person to tell. She'd never judge him or freak out. He loves her so much.
"If you keep it up I'm going to run out of ways to tell you you're cute."
"...I guess you probably don't have similar things because, you know. Real girls don't."
"....back when I had sexual fantasies at all they mostly involved me getting tied up and mind controlled, or alternately being a designated free-use person in a world where there were vampires and it was socially totally acceptable to pin me to a wall and eat my blood, or sometimes instead those things would happen to a fictional character I liked, sometimes they had sex in them but just as often they didn't."
"Mind control and vampires aren't even that weird as kinks! There's an entire literary subgenre about this!"
Hug. "Are you all right? --I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me anything-- how can I help--"
".......so a year ago I ran away from an abusive relationship and have been hooking up with people to use their beds since then and it has not been great but it's pretty much fine and way better than I was before it just doesn't really leave me with a ton of. Time. Or privacy or for that matter leftover sex drive."
"I'm so sorry. That he hurt you and that you had to-- I'm so sorry--"
"She. That she hurt me."
She's just going to bury her face deeper in Lev.
"You don't have to have sex with me to stay here. Just. So you know."
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
