Which she does, of course.

Ani has curled in on herself out of arms reach and is trying and mostly failing to not project intense anxiety! (...It's been a very, very long time since she was so anxious she felt sick, and the last time she had the additional excuse of being pregnant.)

"Elesse?" she asks, softly.

"...Anakin?"

Anakin: is visibly much older. Not the storm of grief and shock and mental screaming she was during their fight. Calm, and centered, and even the anxiety washing over her is being felt and acknowledged and released into the Force, not controlling her.

She's also starting to cry. (Bursting into tears was not planned.)

"It's me, yeah," she says, squeezing her eyes shut to try and stop them from tearing up, not to much success.

(Her lightsaber in Elesse's chest, the claws of darkness hooked deep in her mind-)

Breath.

She re-centers herself.

"What happened? Where-" did you go, have I been, "are we?"

"I - "

Her voice shakes.

She takes a deep breath, artificial lungs adding a deep, mechanical rasp to it. (She doesn't sound entirely like Vader anymore, she's been healed enough she's not on full life support - but she hates the sound, nonetheless.)

"I killed you - I'm so sorry - I figured out how to get you back - we're in another universe, one with different powers, ones that - can - "

"Anakin!" she says sharply, the same tone of voice she used to remind her Padawan to slow down, to pay attention. "One piece at a time."

Deep breath.

"...Sorry."

That - centers her, actually. It's reassuring, Elesse being - the same as she was, before everything went wrong.

"When we fought, I - panicked. I thought you were going to kill me. So I - killed you."

"I didn't actually - mean to."

"You should have known yourself better than that."

She glances down.

"I'm sorry."

Elesse takes one deep breath. Then another.

"How long has it been?"

"Thirty years."

"The Sith Lord?"

"I killed him, seven years ago."

"Twenty-three years... Oh, Anakin."

"I - "

"Should explain. Chronologically. From when - when he got his hooks into me. Before you died."

"Please do."

A few calm, even breaths. Re-centering herself. (This is - incredibly hard to tell. She broke down crying when she told Occlus, and that was - under less stress than here.)

"Palpatine was the Sith Lord. I don't - know if you ever learned that. I didn't learn that for - a while."

"I - spent a lot of time in the Senate, between deployments. Trying to convince anyone to give my girls their rights. Trying to - keep the Republic from being slavers."

"Palpatine offered to help. Taught me - politics, and who to talk to. I - believed him. It took me too long to start to question why he was - so nice, so helpful..."

"He... Isolated me from the other Jedi, looking back. Requested me for missions - brutal, horrible missions, that - would've been enough to traumatize me on their own - whenever he wasn't actively dealing with me. And then - he'd call me into his office as soon as I got back, push me back into the political fight. I never - got rest. I never felt like I could."

"Palpatine... Started hinting he knew secrets of the Force that even the Jedi didn't. I started - being a bit wary, around then. I pushed him, sometimes, on why he wasn't being more helpful."

" - I don't remember a lot. About my conversations with him, or what happened. My head's - all muddled."

"A - few things in there I remember. He claimed - credibly - he could cause life with the Force - hinted he'd created me. He built on more of his claims, and... Said he could make people immortal."

"Lots is missing, from around then. I - discovered I was pregnant, though I couldn't remember how. I - hid that. I felt like I had to."

"Palpatine knew. I suspected - confirmed later - he was the father."

"I thought - I wasn't really thinking, but I did try to talk to you, but - you weren't around, whenever I came to the Temple. I guess our schedules were being set up... Palpatine kept claiming he could make you immortal if I cooperated - kept hinting he'd have you killed if I told on him - "

"Eventually I got - proof he was the Sith Lord. I think he let me have it on purpose, because I took it to the Council... I'd - had enough, and I - couldn't keep being his. And then he killed them when they tried to arrest him, and used that as an excuse to destroy the Jedi."

"It's - everything that happened after that was a horrible nightmare, and then - " she laughs a bit, voice cracking, "Then my body picked the worst time to go into labor. I gave birth to twins - a boy and a girl - and... Palpatine wanted them. I knew he had plans for them, so... I twisted my head in on itself. Convinced myself they died. Cut myself off from - everything. All my Force bonds, my battle meditation - I couldn't learn they were alive, because Palpatine could see into my head and he'd find them. Managed - I think it was obvious, that I'd fucked with my own head, but - I made it look like I was burying guilt over killing them."

"And then - I got a message with your location. Probably from Palpatine."

"I went to find you, and - I don't actually remember how we started fighting."

"You were ranting about Jedi and a coup. How I'd just killed the last chance for peace with the Separatist Council. And I-"

"Had just felt almost every single person I knew die. Including you."

"'M sorry."

She curls in on herself a bit more, hugging herself, steadying herself with her bond to Occlus - Occlus probably should not come in because Ani does not want this mess to get any more out of order but Ani could really use a steady rock right now. Even just a mental one.

"I don't - remember." Her memories are actually pretty much just a highlight reel of the most intensely traumatizing moments from that.

"I do not think you would want to." Her words are clipped.

"There's a lot. Like that."

Sigh.

"Padawan. Where did we go wrong?" she says, mostly to herself.

"Existing in the same universe as Palpatine?"

"...And not talking enough. Letting - letting ourselves drift apart."