That's fine. It's fine. He was already planning to do it. He wanted a more foolproof method but he knows where his carotid artery is and he has a knife on him and if his hands are trembling and he feels like vomiting and his vision is swimming, well, he still has proprioception, so before the friendly men in the full-body armour can do anything he can grab his knife and close his eyes and—
This is everything he's wanted, everything he's worked for for the past several years, and he did nothing to deserve it, he should've been denied it, and he doesn't understand why he's being given it. He should suffer in hell; instead, he's being offered redemption. What kind of fool could ever say no?
He's got a lot of practice comforting Jaeha by now, so he can wait, hug his Jaeha and wait until he's feeling alright again, or at least until hugging him isn't what he needs to do to help anymore.
"Tonight, you sh-should go to Park Yoo-min's party. A-and, and you should have a lot of fun. And, and if you want to flirt with Ha Si-yeon then, then that's fine. Or if you want to, to, to kiss him. Or more. Or Lee Juheon. Or, or anyone."
"My, my stupid jealousy caused all of this. I can't let it keep doing that. I, I want, I, if you want to be with me, then. Then I want you to. And if you want to leave, then you should. Even if you're leaving me for them. But I don't want to, to. To keep you in a cage. I want you to be happy, Tae-gun-ah. Even if that's without me."
"—I'm not trying to break up with you." He's not sure he's physically capable of it anyway.
"...it's just stupid. It's so stupid. I, I wanted to keep you all to myself but I. I need a life beyond you. I need to have more than just you in my life, I need—my own friends. I need my life to not revolve around you. And it's, it's good that yours doesn't revolve around me. And you should cherish your friends and, and—it was always just fear. The jealousy. It was always just being scared that you'd leave. But I should want you to be happy first. Above everything. And if you won't leave then I don't—shouldn't—mind—whatever you do with anyone else. And if you will then, then, then I don't want to hold you."
"...and I need to introduce you to Kim Hye-jin. I—she was so good to you, Tae-gun. So, so good. I want you to have someone that good with you.
"Especially since I'm not going to be an esper anymore."
"And I need to apologise to your friends because I've been rather less than good to them."