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Jul 23, 2019 3:47 PM
marlo lane is the worst erogamer
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"I wasn't trying to manipulate Marlo."

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"— he's really, really protective of me. So hearing that is — a lot, for both of us. But I believe you that you weren't trying." 

He pushes his forehead into Lev's shoulder and holds him tighter. 

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"I want you to be okay. More than anything." He considers this. "--More than anything except understanding what the fuck is up with the Erogame."

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"I love you." He pauses. "— I'm Jewish too. And you're taller than I am." 

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"Shit. I'm sorry."

He looks like he is about to say a thing several times and does not actually say it.

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"I'm not mad at you for not liking yourself, and it's hurting you more than it's hurting me? Just, when you say the erogame wouldn't want a Jewish guy around, or that guys shouldn't be short — I'm right here. I can hear you. You're saying that stuff about me too. And I know you don't think that about me." 

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"Yeah, I don't," he says, on the grounds that this is far enough away from a compliment to be safe probably.

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"...you can say the thing you're thinking, I might argue with it but I won't be mad." 

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"I was trying to figure out a way to say 'of course I don't think that about you, you're incredibly hot' without commenting on your appearance which, it turns out, is impossible."

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"I love you. 

....as long as you don't start asking me what my diet tricks are, you can talk about my appearance if you want to." 

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"I don't want to make you sad."

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"....I have a lot of feelings about my body, and most of them are about the fact that for a year it was killing me, and I would like to have different ones. And I think hearing you talk about it, not because you think the result of me dying slowly is hot but because you think I'm hot, will help, even if it stings at first." 

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"You are really hot! --I would probably think you are really hot whatever you look like but also you are really my type!"

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"You're really sweet and I love you a lot." 

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"I try anyway."

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"Trying counts for a lot." 

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Hugs. 

"Not now but-- at some point. We should try to think through the pros and cons of True Companion."

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"Yeah. — I don't think it's a bad idea, I just — want to give it more than two percent of the thought I gave top surgery, you know?" 

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"That-- makes sense."

He doesn't say, you should take it right now so you can be safe.

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He pulls back just enough to look at Lev's face, then hugs him again. 

"I'm on prep. I'm not going to get HIV, getting HIV while on prep is so rare you get news articles written about you if it happens, and Marlo already has a thing where people he loves don't die before he does. It cured my cancer already. I can afford to take the time to think about it." 

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"He did not mention that to me."

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"— Em." 

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"It cured your cancer and it hasn't done anything that dramatic for Lev and I don't —" 

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"Yeah, that's because he's being careful, he's anxious and does that," Sasha says to Lev. 

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"--Careful about what?"

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