[A/N: inspired by DanielH from the glowfic discord. Set in the universe of "can't have peace without a war", but not even slightly canon to it.]

Deep in the basement of Seattle's largest hospital, in a room lit by flickering lights, the top oncologists of the city were holding a council.

"Alright, people," Dr. Baker addressed the table. "You all know why we're here: Seattle cancer patients have been going into spontaneous remission at a surprisingly high rate. You might even say, a suspiciously high rate. We need to get to the bottom of this! What hypotheses have we got?" She looked around the table, waiting for someone to speak.

"Could there be a something useful in the water? A bacterium that preferentially attacks cancer cells, perhaps?"

"No, Doctor Stetyick, I'm afraid not. We've analyzed the water, the air, even" shudder "the hospital food. We came up empty every time. Doctor Sperry, what do you think?"

"Maybe it's the placebo effect, and all the stories about people getting better are making more people get better."

"Maybe. But if we tell everyone that, it might stop working, so let's investigate every other possibility first. Doctor Compton?"

"Perhaps the residents of this area have some gene that serves as a protective factor."

"That wouldn't explain the sudden onset, and also it sounds racist! Anybody else?"

Dr. Carpenter timidly raised a hand. "Could it be a coincidence?"

"What?" Retorted Dr. Baker. "An observational medical study producing a statistically significant but spurious result? Come on, who ever heard of that happening?"

Suddenly Dr. MacDonald stood up, slapping a hand on the table. "I've got it!" He exclaimed. "We are dealing with . . . a wizard!"

The room erupted in hubbub.

"No, listen!" The wild-haired man continued. "It's not something in the environment, so it's got to be something--or someone--showing up to cure people and then disappearing afterward. They must be able to turn invisible, or we would have caught them by now. They can probably walk through walls, too; several of the patients were in locked rooms. So, a wizard."

"Plausible," Doctor Baker admitted. "But there's a hole in your theory. Why wouldn't this wizard work publicly, even charge for their services? Why sneak around?"

"Because . . . because there's a whole community of wizards, and they want to stay secret! They're probably a different species, maybe several different species--not aliens, I'm not some kind of UFO nutter, I mean like griffins and pegasi and bigfoots and whatnot."

Doctor Baker grinned a feral grin. "MacDonald, you're a genius! We must hunt down this nonhuman wizard at once!"

Dr. Carpenter raised his hand again and asked, "What are we going to do when we find them?" But nobody paid him any attention. They were too busy forming a posse.

Dust swirled in a corner of the room as Bella Swan stepped out through the wall again, a smirk on her invisible face. She was three steps ahead and always would be.