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Wouldn't it? There's politicking-as-foreplay, there's switching-the-politicking-to-osanwë-so-it-need-not-be-interrupted-for-the-kissing, but discussion of Midnight would be taking it a bit far.

Unspeakably shiny. I was thinking what it'd do to my political career to spend the next several Years terrifically distracted - Findekaáno said to me once 'what if he insists he top' and I just sputtered at him, I had no idea what the answer was -

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Could've happened! You are actually not the only person ever with a consistent preference on that one. It would have been awkward.

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Would've probably just enviously watched you cavort with my boyfriend - at least until after the war -

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?

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Did I not tell you that? I thought I told you that - I don't mind, now - seems stupid to refuse my real boyfriends anything I gave the Enemy wearing their forms -

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Excuse me?

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Obviously you don't have to. It just - helps.

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It helps?

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Having some memories that are - actually someone I trust? I can handle the fake ones better if I don't just have the fake ones -

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...there is a huge difference between it helping - displace stuff - and it seeming stupid not to.

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Shrug. It seems stupid not to.

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And that is the part that is making me go 'excuse me'. How is it stupid?

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I'd rather you have me than Thauron, I'd rather not try to maintain - distinctions that only matter to people who care about me anyway without them - you know when you said to us that you were a write-off for your purposes and we could do whatever we wanted? I - know the feeling, and never stopped feeling that way, in this one specific area. Clearing up the trauma didn't make it go away, and I don't want to invite Boots to tamper with something that isn't hurting...

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Squeeze. Is this entangled with the power dynamic thing that I am perpetually bewildered by?

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Probably on some level, yeah.

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I continue to be perpetually bewildered by that.

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Well, we can hold out hope there's a gay Bell Elf somewhere in the multiverse who will be able to explain it in Bellish terms despite no doubt finding it as absurd as you do.

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That'd be convenient, I suppose, but it doesn't let me figure out what to do with it now. I'm - having two completely unrelated reactions to what sound like two completely different things that you're presenting as one thing, here.

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I mean, if you'd like we could ignore both and get back to kissing.

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Inconveniently one of them is definitely incompatible with that.

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He had me too. He didn't stick to my repertoire either for all that it didn't have that specific gap. If your reasoning's really about -

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My reasoning's about how I feel about it and what would hurt me. It wouldn't make sense to me to care anymore, but if I did care I don't believe I've somehow lost that prerogative.

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Okay.

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