Like a rift opening up beneath specifically and only the center cushion of your loveseat to swallow your boyfriend whole.

The instantaneous transition from sitting to standing is the least disorienting of the things that's happening. He's suddenly hungry, after ?⁠weeks? of that feeling not even having a place in his body. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, almost sickeningly loud. He's got a headache like he just drank a barrel of dwarven whiskey.

He's alive.

"Psst! Why's he just standing there?"

"Internal monologue. Give him a minute."

"..."

"Um."

"Mister Greenhilt, was it? What might you say if I told you I had just had a mild-to-moderately debilitating seizure?"

"I'd suspect you might be related to Elan."

"Don't be mean!"

Even if he's kinda right.

"Okay, okay. Do you need clerical attention about it?"

"Ah, no, I merely need to confer with my own partymembers. Would you give us all a moment?"

"Well, we just had our own private team huddle. Fair's fair, I suppose."

"You probably did. I mean that's probably fair."

Sabine's already standing at his side. (She's concerned, but if anyone can pick up that he hasn't lost his cool, it's her.) Hilgya has barely begun to flirt with her counterpart; Zz'dtri hasn't seen any reason yet to acknowledge their opposite's presence; Yikyik is staring balefully at the halfling; Thog is, as ever, inextricably Thog. He corrals them.

"I imagine you're all wondering why I just claimed to have had a seizure."

"No," Zz'dtri whispers.

Yikyik shakes his head too.

"Okay, yes, I was talking primarily to the team members who have opinions."

"I figured you were probably making up more details for that 'king' story you just cooked up. You are okay, right honey?"

"Yeah, what's the matter? Is there a hitch in the amulet plan?"

"Yikyik, don't wander off on your own, stay near at least one partymember at all times, ideally Hilgya. Zz'dtri, get a Protection from Law from Hilgya, and just to be safe, put those damn scimitars away. Hilgya, you're trying to scam me, right? You're going to take the amulet when we're through the elemental passages? Cool. We only need it for like an hour and a half. Take it after. Thog."

What... does he even have to say to Thog? Did he ever actually know Thog? Was he ever even in control of Thog? He just sort of wound him up and let him go, whenever he needed destruction more than he needed to keep track of the situation.

What a waste. He thinks Thog might've hit level 20 in that arena. Think what could be done if that was aimed.

"Thog, we'll talk later. Sabine..."

No.

"We'll talk later. Any questions, before I get into the changes to the main plan?"

"I was only gonna steal it if the opportunity came up. For the record."

"…"

Sabine reaches for Nale's hand.

Thog reaches for Nale's other hand.

...he can hold Sabine's hand. He is not holding Thog's.

"cruel stng of rejection no stranger to thog."

"Anyway. We're dropping the kill-your-double schtick. It wasn't going to work, and it'd sabotage our actual longterm goals if it did. Yikyik, yours is the only one on the table, and that's because I think it might be salutary not just to our goals but to theirs to kill that awful little freak. He's got multiple books to go before he's even interestingly horrible. But Zz'dtri, I want you collaborating with that high elf; Hilgya, continue as you were but without the metonymous dagger in your brassiere; Sabine, try to reach out to H- to the rogue, no matter how suspicious she is. I'll be helping that along, and handling Roy and my brother myself. Any further questions?"

"what thog do?"

"Stay –"

Pause.

"Why don't you go play with Elan? I think you might actually get along quite well."

Hilgya puts her hand up.

"As long as you're playing priest of Odin, should I hit Zz'dtri with the Protection from Law now? It'll cover him for nine hours, with the houserule."