She can Detect no Secret Doors.

"My powers in their current state are better at summoning mortals to my realm than at sending them wherever they please," the being notes. "I am called the Reaper – not the Repotter."

"And I'm guessing a game of chess wouldn't change that."

Even if it did, it probably wouldn't matter; Haley's better at poker than at chess.

"I have learned the game, but I confess no particular liking for it," the Reaper confirms. "Not that fondness would bend the chains that have been locked around the core of my being nearly since my inception."

Yeah.

"Yeah. Worth a shot, though."

She shrugs.

"Hopefully I won't be seeing you again for, like, a while. Ugh, I hope that I land near someone who can cast Sending. And…"

Something occurs to her.

"… I've been assuming that here I'm just, like, a spirit. If I walk through and get sent not back where I was, will it teleport my body? And my gear?"

"Yes. Whatever world you arrive in, it will receive you, body and soul. And if some personal effects are not currently on your person, you may look through the Well of Lost Things for them. I cannot guarantee it will contain any particular item, but it can contain many things you would otherwise never see again. With a slight bias towards childhood toys, due to the unavoidable conditions of humanoid psychological development."

Okay, wow, apparently Haley was making a lot of unfounded assumptions. She turns back around.

"Wait, wait, whatever world? I was thinking it might drop me, I dunno, in some village in Anywhere that needed someone to do the 'steal from the rich, give 40% to the poor' thing. Okay, wow, glad I asked. Um."

She takes a deep breath.

"… It was one thing to come to terms with accidentally getting separated from my boyfriend when he was only an ocean away. I don't think I can just walk into a whole different world like that. Is there any way to take him along or at least—I dunno, send him a note?"

"With the understanding that he will be equally incapable of returning under his own power? Yes, I can produce him immediately."

Oh, right, she'd basically be kidnapping him. And while she's fairly sure that he wouldn't mind, it'd probably freak out V and Durkon. If they're even still alive out there. And then the Order would consist of those two and Belkar, who might decide once he's over whatever disease he got that he'd rather try his luck with Roy's body not counting as Roy for the purposes of his Mark of Justice…

"There's kind of this whole… quest to save the world… that we're on."

And she knows Elan would be bothered if she ruined that.

"I'd already accepted that I won't be able to go back¹, but it'd be unfair to pull the plug on it for everyone. Then again, with me gone it's probably already pretty much impossible for Durkon to find Roy's body."

She already knows that she won't be able to talk herself out of asking for Elan back, no matter how much it would be better if she did.

¹This is a lie. What she actually did was put off thinking about it for later.

"I did not say you could not go back. I said that I cannot send you back, and that you cannot return under your own power, not being a magic-user."

"Oh. Cool."

Yeah, temporary kidnappings are a lot easier to get over.

"Yeah, you should bring him in then."

And there he is. It doesn't even take the Reaper six seconds.

Bwuh?

"Haley!!"

It's been months.

Eventually:

"What's going on? That guy seems pretty Death-y. Did I randomly get killed? Did you? Are we gonna have to play chess?"

"I already asked. Apparently it wouldn't help. But listen, I found this weird arrowhead thing—"

She shows him.

"—that apparently thinks I'm… 'shiny'? Which according to this guy means that I can't die unless I choose to, and if I would have been killed I just pop back up. But the only way out of here, since I haven't died before, is through that door, which will send me somewhere that I have no control over and might not even be in the same world that we're from. But if we find someone who can cast Plane Shift, that should do the trick."

That's a lot to take in!

"Wow. It's too bad Roy didn't find that before he died. Hey, do you think we could get Roy the same way you got me? How did you get me? Am I dead?"

She shakes her head.

"I asked. For you, I mean. You shouldn't be dead, though. I thought about Roy, but… I figured that he'd probably be annoyed about the Gates thing being delayed even more than it already was, right?"

This is even true!

"…but really, I just wanted you more."

Squeeze.

"Hey, death guy. Can we get our friend Roy?"

The Reaper's head inclines fractionally.

"...his body is animated, without his spirit inside," it rules. "This complicates the matter, introducing an unacceptable possibility of errors including but not limited to instantiating his soul and body separately, instantiating his soul bound within the abomination formed of his body, or instantiating his soul in a spontaneous newborn infant."

"Oh my god, would that last one be baby Roy? Would he still act like grownup Roy? Oh, he'd totally hate it but it'd be so cute!"

The rest of what the Reaper said catches up with him.

"… why is Roy undead now?"

Haley rolls her eyes.

"He's not undead. Technically. His bones got made into a golem, because—oh, jeez, it's a whole mess. See, I got hit with a lightning attack in Azure City that broke this talisman that Celia apparently gave Roy, and that summoned her. So we left Azure City with Roy's body and went to see the Oracle, but he wasn't home, so we decided to go to Cliffport to find a cleric. Except Celia really wanted to go to Greysky City, even though I kept telling her it was bad news, and she got impatient and left with his body in the middle of the night. And brought him to a golem maker. Because she thought he was a cleric, I guess."

She sighs.

"I like Celia, I really do, but these past couple weeks she has been making it really hard to keep doing that."

"That sounds like a lot. Okay, I guess we shouldn't get Roy, if he might be a bone golem. It probably wouldn't be super bad, since I don't have any rings for him to go crazy over—"