When Sasha is walking home from school, he stumbles across the smallest and most adorable dog in the world.
"Depends. Is Marlo going to torture me if I kill people, and is he going to get off on it if he does?"
"Then my snack will remember a wildly enjoyable, moderately out of character no-strings-attached hookup."
"Good," and then he goes right back to pushing Asher's mouth against his neck.
Asher makes a soft little moan and starts grinding against Sasha's thigh.
He glances at Marlo — still asleep — and kisses the part of Asher's head that he can reach and then lets go of him.
"My boyfriend's asleep," he says, very quiet. "I've given you your answer. It's 'no.'"
"...because I won't fuck you while my boyfriend is asleep not six feet away from us?" he says dubiously.
"I like you saying 'no' to me. It is not a thing that happens very often."
"I don't know anything at all about you. I assume you're a high schooler."
"I'm 21. And before you say 'but how long have you been 21,' the answer is like eight months."
"And now I'm a vampire and I dance and do math and I'm teaching myself physics and trying to figure out how to publish in psych journals given that I'm legally dead."
"Do people still publish under pseudonyms or did that die with the turn of the century or was it never actually a thing?"
"Turn of the century. They want you to have an institutional affiliation these days. And 'not violate research ethics.'"