"I guess I am from a fairy story, aren't I?" Lilith says. 

"You're a changeling princess. If you aren't from a fairy story, what is?" 

"I don't know," Lilith says, and suddenly she's kissing Sasha.

He pushes her away. 

"Okay, remember how I'm gay?" 

"Everyone's a little bit bi," Lilith says, "especially for fairy princesses." She tries to kiss him again.

Uh, what. That's his Sasha. Only he gets to sexually assault him. 

He keeps pushing her away. "I'm not bi. Even for fairy princesses." 

She stomps her foot. "Why aren't you giving me a chance?"

"Because I'm gay and you're a girl and you made my boyfriend cry and your exes suffer kind of a lot of unfortunate accidents!" 

— Fuck. 

She looks Sasha in the eyes and starts chanting. 

It's hard to tear his eyes away from her big luminous green eyes.

Okay, that is not cool. Doing weird magic to Sasha's brain is Asher's job. 

He jumps out of the tree and runs toward her and, without breaking eye contact with Sasha, Lilith pulls out a crucifix and waves it at him and he shudders.

Sasha's deer-in-headlights frozen. 

"What the fuck!" 

Come on, Asher, he yells at himself. This is stupid. The crucifix won't hurt you unless you touch it, you were good enough at martial arts to kick her in the back without touching her even before you died, this is dumb, I refuse to be this dumb. 

He kicks her in the back with all his strength and she breaks eye contact.

And Sasha flinches back and looks up at Asher and very specifically not at Lilith. 

Something cold and metal is pressed into Sasha's hand. "What's going on," he says to Lilith. 

"He was mean to me so I hurt him back."

"Do you generally hurt people for turning down dates with you?" 

He hides a second nail in the palm of his hand. 

"Not unless they promised. But he said I made you cry and my exes have accidents." Her eyes shine with the light of innocence. "I never hurt any of my exes unless they broke a promise."

"What promise did Sasha make you?" 

"Can someone who doesn't believe in God get the fucking crucifix out of her hand?"

"I was trying to be nice to him," Lilith says, "and he insulted me. That's rude. You're not supposed to insult princesses."

"You sexually assaulted him," he says, and takes the crucifix and — he looks at Sasha's face — tosses Asher the nail. 

Finally. 

Asher catches the nail, pulls a cast-iron frying pan out of his backpack and says, "I like Tangled."

"I didn't," she says, "he just needed to be convinced a little bit. Lots of people need to be convinced a little bit."