Hana reburies her face in her hands.

"Would you like any more tea?" she asks, muffled, after a few moments.

“Yes,” says Jaime.

”....... I would love me another cup’a, I would, if it wouldn’t not be no kind of trouble,” says Officer Gagnon, lamely.

"Of course it isn't," she says, somewhere between sweetly and miserably, and pours them each another one, and refills the kettle, and - goes back to waiting, she supposes.

Ferozah eventually manages to rifle through the house to her satisfaction, and doesn’t find anything else particularly incriminating, or any drugs, or any particularly incriminating drugs. She eventually stalks out the door, without a goodbye. Officer Gagnon apologizes profusely, awkwardly offers them a small whittled sculpture of a perplexed duck made entirely from homemade maple scented soap, and flees.

“I have terrible taste in women.”

Ari sock slides into the room.  "Aw, don't be that way.  I think you have great taste in women," she says, putting an arm around Hana's waist.  "I mean, be the fake dating AU you want to see in the world, am I right?"

Hana rests her head on Ari's shoulder.  "Where were you?"

"Out in the front hall, reading, so as to not fuck things up.  With super hearing, also so as to not fuck things up.  - Oh, cute duck!"

“My counterfactual taste in women may be better than my actual taste in women. Note to self, don’t fuck cops. Can someone else magically check that for bugs before anyone says anything else.”

"N.....o?"

Jaime looks extremely neutral, plucks up a pen and a nearby sticky note, and writes down the following, showing it to them: 

I don’t have a list of everyone’s relevantly enhanced senses. If neither of you can temporarily acquire metal detection or use super hearing to determine whether that duck is bugged, we need to toss it or break it. 

Ari nods, takes a moment to listen, and writes:

don't hear anything

She starts to write something else but scribbles it out, walks over to the fridge, pries off the strongest magnet, and hands it to Jaime.

Jaime pokes the duck with it. The duck doesn’t respond. The duck is now on a nearby bookshelf.

”It’s fine, anyways, if this were an attack and not a probe she wouldn’t have used Ferozah and an extremely Canadian soap carving enthusiast. Do you have thoughts on our next step.”

"Does this change anything about whether we should go touring in other locales?"

“No.”

"Should we - carry on with what we were already going to do, then?"

“... yes.”

"Okay."

And so, a few days later, they can start their grand tour.  It mostly consists of places and activities Jaime picks out, although Ari does want to stop at the arctic circle to test (or "test"; they've already managed much lower temperatures with some liquid nitrogen they ordered) Hana's cold resistance.  ("It's for the cool factor!  - As distinct from the cold factor.  Someone standing outside somewhere very cold in shorts and a tank top is objectively extremely cool.  I don't make the rules.")  She takes lots of pictures.

Jaime has several locations she wants to visit.

Her cousin is displaying his work in an art show; they attend. Jamie lets her hair down - it’s really quite long, when it isn’t braided - and wears a concealing outfit, so she isn’t recognized. She also uses a ‘subtle’ Transylvanian accent to mask her voice, which is really very unnecessary and quite likely counterproductive, but she does have to get her entertainment from somewhere.

There’s a particular, supposedly no-kill animal shelter in Kentucky that she’s gathered information on. A few people have had pets go missing from their yards, nearby, and it has an unreasonably high ‘adoption rate’. The owner and operator gets a politely worded letter; so do the police, several pet owners abruptly reunited with their pets, and flyer-compatible locations across the city.

Several less exciting locations - including a tranquil log cabin in the middle of nowhere, for a few weeks - get their own visits.

And, during one of their feedings, after Jaime has desaturated her skin and changed her facial structure and whatnot to the magic's content - and then added a bunch of things on top of it, since it turns out the minimum amount of each individual transformation doesn't add up to enough total vampirosity (would she like red or silver or black or gold (or any combination of those!) eyes, does she want yet larger fangs, how does she feel about these posture adjustments) -

The magic abruptly starts distinguishing between 'acquiring superficially vampire-like attributes' and 'making progress toward becoming the type of person who gains magic when they drink other people's blood'.

She’ll take golden eyes, slight posture adjustments that won’t fuck with her dancing... pale golden permanent nail polish? fuller, glossier hair? permanent shadows around her eyes? ... and she’ll fill up the rest with larger fangs and minor tweaking as necessary.

Making direct progress towards being an actual vampire is in fact what she wants, yes. 

She goes for it.

She’s in bed, when she finally crosses the threshold, having been warned that she’ll lose consciousness. She crosses the threshold. She faints. 

The "nail polish" just changes the color her nails grow directly and doesn't help with vampirism, but it doesn't take very much magic at least, and it does look nice.  The other things help.

Hana's still in the middle of bandaging Jaime's arm when she wakes up.  "Congratulations."

“Thanks.”

"How you feelin'?"

“Grey, but only in the literal sense. Any reason I shouldn’t get up?”

"Don't think so!  Want some juice and cookies, I hear they're traditional or something," she says, revealing a bottle of sparkling grape juice and a plate of oatmeal-butterscotch cookies.

"Let me just finish up here," Hana says of the bandage.  "....All right, there you are."

Jaime eats oatmeal butterscotch cookies and drinks sparkling grape juice.

Time passes.

A day or two after their return to Hana's aunt's place,  Ari casually walks into the same room as Jaime, casually plays on her phone for a few minutes, and, without looking up, totally casually says, "So, what's your plan now."