This isn't where he was going. 

This isn't - 

- he doesn't know where the fuck this is, actually.  Maybe it's Africa. Maybe it's Mexico. Those are the most exotic places he can think of offhand. 

Someone shouts. He turns around.

"Tyel...cormo?" the someone says when she spots him, not particularly hopefully.

Maybe that's African. Or Mexican. She's - really hot, and really tall, and not African he doesn't think though this is really far outside his area of expertise. "I don't speak your language, sorry."

Sigh.

She points at herself. "Mirelótë Ambela." She points at him.

" - Theodore Way. I don't know Ambela."

She gestures at him and makes a hand-opening-and-closing gesture near her mouth with her free hand. Points at more random objects in their environment - ink-black bush, the sky, the sun therein, a rock.

"Well this is going to take fucking forever, do we have to? I'll be leaving as soon as I know what direction to leave in." He points. "England? England? England?"

She shakes her head.

"I've got, uh, French, Latin -" He tries both those, badly.

Headshake. She pauses, then tries a few more languages herself, none of which are any more familiar than the first.

He glances around for England, or rampaging elephants or something else better than language practice. Nope.

He picks up two rocks. "Rocks. One, two. I have two rocks." He offers her one.

"I have one rocks!" she says, taking the rock.

Apparently Mexico uses the his-father school of language-learning. "I have one rock." He scoops another off the ground. "I have two rocks. I have one hand -" holding it up - "I have two hands. I have one ear..."

"You have two ears, I have two ears. I have - two two two two two -" She wiggles her fingers.

"Ten, you have ten fingers. You have one rock, you have two hands, you have ten fingers. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. You have one rock, I have two rocks, we have three rocks."

She picks up another rock. "We have four rocks." She points at the sun again.

"We have, uh, one sun. The world has one sun."

"I have two suns," she says.

"That doesn't make sense, the world goes 'round the sun and it couldn't do that if you had several of them, how'd it know which ones to go around? Uh -" he gestures with rocks - "world goes around the Sun." Three examples, the rule is. "I go around you." He does that. "I go around the shrub." He does that, too.

"I have world goes around two suns." She arranges rocks, two big ones closer together, and moves a littler rock around them.

"Huh, okay. How'd you get here? Never mind, that's too many new concepts. This rock is on the ground. Theodore is on the ground. This drawing -" he scuffs the ground with his feet - "is on the ground. England is on the Earth. The Earth goes around one sun."

"Valinor goes around two suns. We are on England? We are on the Earth?"

"We are not on England. Not - this is not a rock, this is not a hand, I am not Mirelote Ambela."

"We are not on Valinor, we are not on England - we are on -?"

"Good question! Uh, good question is I have no word for where we are."