"LDS! - Latter Day Saints. Mormon. Do you have those here?"

"Not in Canada. Eros is about half Catholic and half atheists and members of other religions. I'm Jewish."

"Oh. Is there a way to go to Deseret from here? Or, uh, Utah?"

"We could give you a compass and copy out a map onto paper for you? But I don't think your survival skills are going to be very good."

"Can't put bicycle handlebars on a waffle buffet?"

"Waffle buffets often have predictable routes but I don't think there are any of them that go from here to Utah, and even if you did you'd have to provide your own medical care and keep yourself safe from the Something and have a way to escape the drones."

"Yeah." Sigh.

"Do you want other Mormons for services or some other reason? We have Mass every day."

"I guess Mass is better than nothing? I just really wanna get married in kind of a hurry to have a daddy for Catherine and it seems like it might be hard if my husband wasn't a Mormon."

"There are lots of single Catholics here. And members of other religions. Although I don't know if Mormons are supposed to marry other Mormons the way Catholics are supposed to marry other Catholics."

"I dunno how it works for Catholics, I can't read Spanish, but like, usually you wanna do it that way because it makes lots of stuff easier. I guess if there's not a temple we couldn't do a temple wedding anyway."

"What do Catholics have to do with Spanish?"

"Mexico is Catholic? I mean there's Mexicans who speak English I guess, but I never paid a lot of attention."

"...I guess we probably have a weirdly high number of Catholics because of the whole Pope situation."

"Pope situation?"

"We have the pope. He's sixteen. A bishop realized the Bliss was happening, called the Vatican, somehow was put through to the Pope, and received permission to ordain a nine-year-old a bishop immediately before the Pope blissed. The Catholics generally consider this to be a bona fide miracle, so there have been a lot of converts."

"Wow. I mean, it could be a miracle, I'm not clear on exactly how Heavenly Father feels about all the other kinds of Christianity but maybe He likes them, and we can't check if there's a sixteen year old President in Utah."

"Sadly, Heavenly Father seems less interested in the miracle of the Large Number Of Jewish Girls Who Are Mysteriously Into Me."

"Why do you need lots of them? Are Jews into polygamy?"

"I don't think it's against the rules, but I think it was kind of frowned on? I don't know, I didn't pay that much attention in Hebrew school. I just mean that one Jewish guy and ten Jewish women gets you more Jewish babies than the other way around, and if children have a non-Jewish father and a Jewish mother they're still considered Jewish, but not the other way around."

"Oh. Does that matter?"

"It matters to me."

"Don't do too much polygamy, okay? It doesn't work super well when people try to do it too much."

"The non-Catholics do some amount of polygamy but girls get to date more than one person too. It seems to be working out okay."

"I'm pretty sure girls aren't supposed to do that."