spike makes a wish and everyone ends up in 1860s london
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I can build it today.

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Solid.

- I'm gonna sleep first, actually, that seems like a thing that I should be doing during the day. Also if you, uh, happen to have any food around I wouldn't say no.

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Yeah, I wasn't sure which of these plants were okay for humans so I got lots.

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- thanks.

She munches on things that she's pretty sure are nonpoisonous and at all nutritious. Good thing she went to superhero summer camp and got a crash survival course that dipped into how to live off of random wild plants.

If you ever want any bread or anything I can get some. I mean, you seem like you're doing super fine here, but if you ever do want anything.

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I'm good. 

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Thought you would be. Thanks for the food, it's a big help. 

 

It's actually pretty hard to take vampires non-lethally inside a crowded city; they're a lot more resistant to head trauma than humans are, so you have to get in a lucky hit. She tries her arrows, of course, but the first time she tries that tack she ends up with a screaming vampire with an arrow in his eye and a bunch of concerned bystanders trying to figure out what happened, and the whole thing is really more of a mess than she wants to deal with again. Even when she does successfully beat them into unconsciousness with no screaming, the head injuries are usually too obvious for her to feel safe carrying them out of the city; she doesn't want to get stopped by police. In these cases she strips them and kills them before they regain consciousness, which at least means she has enough money to buy things.

It takes her a bit to pick up on feeding patterns, but in a few nights she has a decent understanding of the basics. Female vampires like to pose as prostitutes; male vampires like to pose as their clients. (Her brain is writing a comedy sketch in which two of them accidentally meet and try to feed on each other.) This is really pretty smart of them, since it gets people to follow them or take them to out-of-the-way places, and the victims are mostly people who either won't be missed or who haven't told anyone where they're going to be. She can't distinguish between vampires and humans on sight, so it's kind of a pain figuring out which is the vampire at any given point, and at least seventy percent of prostitute/client pairs are just actual prostitutes and clients. If she were trying to clear the city of vampires, she could spend more time on this and follow the vampires back to their nests, but she's sort of on a deadline here. The other major pattern is the vampires who hang out preying on drunk people on their way home from bars. Really drunk people are too out of it to put up very much of a fight. These vampires are at least pretty easy to identify as vampires, and she tends to focus more on them just because they're the low-hanging fruit. 

There are also vampires who prey on young women who are walking alone (mostly poor girls, of course, since the wealthy ones tend not to be in this situation). They don't do it because it's easy to avoid detection, they do it because it's fun, killing scared people whose deaths aren't connected to their vices. These are sort of the most satisfying to stop.

She spends nights and a chunk of each day in the city. She consistently sleeps outside it. A week or so in, there's a day where she doesn't come back to where Tyelcormo is; she's back the following night with a vampire.

He might take a bit to wake up. Doesn't look that bad from the outside, a couple people stopped us but they all bought that he'd passed out drinking, but I think I kinda mushed his brain a little.

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He's dead.

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Oh, yeah, they all are. Undead. They don't have heartbeats or anything. If he were dead-dead he wouldn't be here, they turn into dust after you behead them or stake them.

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So they're - magically animated corpses? - in that case I don't have any reservations about the torture.

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They're human corpses animated by demons. They still - feel things and think things and have preferences and are people and stuff, just not people who are, uh, biologically alive? And also they're evil.

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Where do they go when they die? Uh, when they die deader.

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We don't know.

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Mmkay. How long until it wakes up, do you think?

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She frowns at it. Probably less than a day. Two at most.

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Ah, okay. You gonna wait here or go kill more things?

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Probably wait here. You can't talk to it without me anyway.

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Sounds good. Do you mind changing your clothes?

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Yeah, I can do that. Still have some from the others.

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Thank you.

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Sorry. I dunno how to do laundry without a house. Or a washing machine. 

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I'll do it.

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- thanks. Sorry.

She leaves, because changing in front of people is weird, and comes back in a different set of men's clothing. 

Everything from this time period has a weirdly unnecessary number of ties and buttons and stuff.

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What do they use later?

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Um - I mean, some things still use buttons. Plus we have zippers. Lots of stuff just kind of fits. I guess maybe we have stretchier fabrics in the future or something.

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That's interesting.

Sigh.

 

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