"Well, dear," his mother says, "plans change sometimes--"

"I have to get a job, I'm going to New York, I'm going to be worse at my auditions if instead of practicing I'm going to fucking ex-gay camp--"

His father clears his throat.

"...Fuck you."

"Language!"

"Your parents have agreed that, as an incentive for recovery, they will not pay for your apartment while you're auditioning unless you've successfully completed True Directions."

"Well, that'll be easy, because as I've said, I'm not gay-- please tell me you have a barre--"

"Participation in dance for men is considered to be a temptation to homosexuality."

"...I hate both of you."

"You have to understand it from our position, Asher," his mother says. "We just wouldn't feel comfortable allowing our gay son into a-- a den of sodomy like the New York City arts scene--"

"Oh, I'm going to do plenty of sodomy. With girls. Because I like girls."

"If we've come to a decision perhaps you'd like to sign the paperwork."

Asher signs. When he gets to the rule about countercultural hairstyles, he says, "am I going to have to cut my hair?"

"An Afro is considered to be countercultural, yes."

"Great! So you're misogynist, homophobic, and racist! I'm going to have an awesome three months."

Meanwhile--

Mom and Dad,

I'm writing this email to tell you that I appear to be a homosexual. I understand this may come as a disappointing surprise to you, and I'm sorry. 

I have tried to recover on my own and been unsuccessful. My research suggests that True Directions is the non-Christian program with the best track record of success. (Unfortunately, the options for specifically Jewish programs are limited.) The tuition is reasonable and scholarships are available. I understand that True Directions is unlikely to build my college application the way that the other summer options we discussed would, but early treatment for homosexuality leads to improved outcomes. I hope you can agree that we should deal with this problem as quickly as possible. 

With your permission, I'll apply to admissions for the summer session. 

I love you.

--Lev

Lev,

Your mother and I understand and agree. It might make it harder for you to get into Harvard, but some things are more important, like your ability to experience a normal sexuality and real love. 

We're also impressed by the True Directions website and their track record of success, and that kosher food is available. Money might be tight for a while, but we will make this a priority. If you bring your prep books, you can study during your downtime, and that will free up time for more extracurricular activities during the year. 

--Abram

By the first day of camp, his hair is shorter than it's been since freshman year and his clothes don't feel like they're his and he's spent the intervening time downloading as much tolerable but within the rules music as he can and he isn't wearing any makeup at all no matter how much he would like to be. 

As ways to spend a summer go, this sucks, and not in a fun way. 

Asher spends the three months before ex-gay camp starts dancing as much as he can. He completely stops doing homework and scrapes out B's and C's by getting 100% on every test. He pirouettes in the lunch line and does arabesques while doing the dishes. His muscles are sore like they haven't been since he was ten and his form is flawless and he's bad at not thinking about having to take three months off. 

Most of his practice music is classical anyway. He has plenty of music to listen to that's within the rules. 

Lev is pretty sure he can't fix himself on his own, so he lets himself indulge before ex-gay camp. He thinks a lot about the guy in his math class with the amazing smile, how smart he is and how kind. He jerks off to his carefully hidden collection of gay porn when his parents think he's doing his homework. He thinks about how nice it would be to kiss a guy, to hold his hand, to cuddle with him and wake up in the morning and know that you're together.

Family dinners are stilted and awkward until Lev discovers he can claim he has too much homework to eat with the family.

Everyone is relieved.  

He breaks up with Melissa and doesn't tell anyone why, tells his friends he's doing an internship over the summer, focuses himself on school and track and nothing else. 

When Asher gets out of the car at True Directions, he almost does a jeté entrelacé, and then he remembers and kicks a rock in irritation.

He has a set of needles and pins and a slightly ridiculous amount of embroidery floss and two spools of thread, no jewelry clasps or hooks but a handful of charms, six books three of which are disguised as different books, a sketchpad, and a whole bunch of empty postcards from places he'd rather be than here. 

He keeps his head down and his body language small. 

This isn't what he'd intended to do with his summer — he was hoping for an actual internship, before — but it's. probably a good thing. He keeps his face neutral. 

Why are there three hot guys at ex-gay camp. This is the first time Lev has ever seen a guy his age in real life and known that he was gay and some of them are hot and now he keeps having thoughts about kissing all three of them and it is not okay. How is he supposed to recover from homosexuality under these conditions.