"Um! I appreciate the fact that you aren't doing it in the middle of the cafe!"

Zeke doesn't feel any pressing need to contribute to this conversation, for once, but he still seems pleased as punch about it.

They're eventually approached by a waiter.

"Are you ready to order, good sirs?" says the waiter - a short fellow with an unfortunate haircut and an impeccably fit uniform.

"Yeah! I'm gonna have the Combo of Lunar Bliss and a water."

"Um, I'll have the Hashbrowns of Fire and Night, and the black coffee?"

"House Salad of Teardrop Stains, beer."

"How concerned should I be that you make all this shit with the blood of orphans?"

"Our hygienic and ethical standards are unparalleled, sir."

"I'm not a sir, bitch. Do I look like the fucking Duke of Cider?"

"There is some trivial resemblance, sir," says the waiter.

"Huh. Never knew that he was a hottie."

"I could not say either way, sir."

"Oh, come on, I bet you have some passionate love affair shit going on - Bacon of Delight, tea, if you give me a lemon I'm gonna piss all over your floors."

"We also have an excellent cleaning staff, sir. I will bring you your orders promptly."

"... thank you!" says Caden, to the retreating form of the waiter.

"Was that super necessary?"

"Ayep."

“... ‘kay.”

Conversation is a little stilted, after that. They get their food - Braldey does not, as it transpires, need to piss on their floors - and then they can make their separate ways.

“I’m, um, torn between wanting to avoid gossiping behind people’s backs, and, um...” 

“Speculating about why he’s like that? I don’t think it’s super ordinary, telling your waiter to suck your cock if they want a tip - I mean, he was joking, it was obvious the whole time that he was joking, Trevor kept laughing, just...”

“He’s still very attractive and there’s still this layer of - desperation for human connection - there, that I’m sympathetic to, but I don’t think I want to spend much time with him.”

“Same.”