"Eventually."

Marlo holds him tighter, runs his fingers through Chris's hair. Leans down and kisses Chris's forehead. 

"Nothing should make you make that face," he says, with total conviction. 

Anderson's voice is shouting in his head. 

But his master Marlo is telling him to do something. 

"I don't know," he says, "what I want."

Chris needs him and that means everything else is secondary.

Another forehead kiss. "That's okay." More hairpetting. "We can figure it out. But nothing should make you that sad." 

He snorts. "I have bad news for you."

"Nothing should. Doesn't mean nothing does." 

"I... care about you and want what is best for you. You shouldn't give up the opportunity to be in service on my account."

"You need me. I'm yours. Everything else comes second." 

It is kind of frightening how much he means it. 

"I want to devote myself utterly to your happiness. I want to train you until you are the most perfect slave the world has ever seen. I want to show you off at an Academy. I want to lend you out so other people can see how amazing you are. --And I want to sink down on my knees before you and call you sir and have you cane me until I bleed."

"I want to be perfect for you. I want to be shown off so everyone can see how skilled you are, I want to make you proud — I want nothing to ever hurt you ever again — if caning you until you bleed would make you happy I want to do it —" 

"Oh, it would-- it has been so long--"

"Then I want to — and I want to take care of you afterwards —" 

Another forehead kiss. 

"Christ. Anderson."

"Mm?" 

He pets Chris's hair some more. 

"Anderson is my trainer." He exhales slowly. "My relationship with her can best be understood as... a form of slavery where I only get the parts that are troublesome or inconvenient."

He holds Chris tighter. 

"If she tells me to send you to Alex and Grendel then I must."

"…she might not," but he doesn't really believe that. 

"She disapproves of... closeness between trainer and slave."

How could anyone see how unhappy Chris is and not want to fix it immediately. 

"We'll figure it out," he says, very quiet. It's the best he can promise. 

"I don't know how to explain to her what I want from you. I-- I want to serve you because you are such a good slave, that's not..."

"I love you," he says, "I don't — I don't know her, I don't know how to talk to her —" 

"She might like it if serving you makes me stop wanting a collar. She's grooming me as her successor."

Now is not the time for the mental image of Chris putting a collar on him. "I love you," he says again, instead of that. "We'll find something." 

"I love you." He twirls Marlo's hair around his finger. "There are-- options, if you go to Alex and Grendel's. You get vacation time. You can send emails. You can put in your contract that you have to be allowed to talk to me regularly... It's too bad you'd be absolutely miserable at any house that would buy me."