"There's been so many times I should have said it and didn't. We might never see each other again after a month from now, and I love you now." 

"That is inappropriate to say to a trainer."

He shrinks, just a little. Ducks his head. 

"Yes, Chris." 

Well, that's heartbreaking. 

"I apologize for my unprofessional actions earlier tonight."

He nods, too quickly. "Yes, Chris." 

Self-disclosure does not come easily to Chris. But if Marlo perceives that he's rejected he's going to break. 

"...I am a slave. By inclination, though not in practice."

He's not sure why Chris is bringing this up. He nods and — Chris said it was inappropriate he shouldn't try to — doesn't reach out. 

Well, that's not great. 

He pauses and chooses his words carefully.

"The relationship between a trainer and a slave is... intimate. Particularly a first trainer. I will carry my trainer Anderson's voice with me for the rest of my life. Whenever I am impatient or want to cut a corner, I hear the way she says 'inadequate' inside my mind." He hesitates. "Rachel is perceptive. Particularly about me. And I have never lied to you."

— he — 

Marlo uncurls, just a little, and — is this okay, is he being — very tentatively moves closer again. 

"Thank you. Chris." 

Chris reaches out to him and holds him. "You see one side of me, as your trainer. A very... narrow, tailored side of me, designed to shape you into a certain person. It is not who I am in general. Because the relationship between a slave and a trainer is so intimate, and because there is so much of a trainer that a slave does not see, there are... taboos. 

"You may speak freely and ask questions."

He's not sure he has anything that wouldn't be even more inappropriate. 

"…does it get lonely?" he says, very carefully into Chris's shoulder. "You're around me most of the time and you can only show me one side of you — I understand why but —" and he cuts himself off before he can say anything he'll regret. 

"Your training is not the conventional sort. Normally, I work as part of a house, with two other trainers, Rachel, and the house slaves. Ken and I decided that I would train you by yourself, so that your introduction to sexual service could be handled slowly."

Careful nod. He tucks himself into Chris. 

Chris doesn't know what Rachel wants from him. 

He realizes, absently, that he had been dreading Marlo's auction. He keeps thinking of ways he could tell Marlo to stay. Chris could tell him he needs a full year of training to really refine his skills. (Marlo is already a fine novice slave.) Chris could buy his contract. (Chris'd be miserable as an owner.) Chris could train Marlo as a trainer. (Marlo would be miserable as a trainer.) They could be egalitarian. (Chris has never once in his life been interested in a relationship without power.) Marlo could own him. (Marlo could never own him.) They could be sold to the same house. (Marlo would feel lost in a big house without a specific person to serve.) He could kneel before Marlo and beg him to stay and promise that he doesn't know how it would work but they could figure something out. 

He can hear Anderson's voice lecturing him about the importance of emotional distance and mysteriousness. Useless, useless, failure of a trainer. 

What was Rachel playing at, telling Marlo?

He rubs Chris's back with one hand and reaches up to very cautiously touch his hair with the other. 

He should stop him. He doesn't. 

(Inside his head, Anderson's voice screams.)

"Do you have any other questions?"

He was going to ask something else but the only thing he finds himself saying is "Are you okay?" 

He keeps his hand on Chris's hair, still careful. 

"No."

Fuck. Why did he do that. 

Very very cautious hairpetting. "Is there anything I can do?" 

He should refuse to answer. 

"I want to kneel before you and beg to be allowed to serve you, which is not, I believe, the conventional response to a person being an excellent slave."

He puts slightly more pressure on Chris's hair and holds him closer. 

"I don't know how to give you that. I'm sorry." 

His hand moves from Chris's back to the back of his neck. Whether this is appropriate comes second; Chris being okay comes first. 

"You shouldn't give me that."

"I am emotionally compromised and fear I will be unable to continue your training to a high standard. I would recommend continuing your training with the Seladors, with whom I usually work. They are excellent trainers. Even if you had continued with me, you would have worked at least with Grendel and Jack, as there are certain sexual skills it is easier to teach when one's cock is not made out of plastic."

A pained sound. Marlo's hand is firm on the back of Chris's head. "Will you be okay if I do that?"