Lex Luthor in Hyrule
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Hundreds of thousands of people pilot around two-ton boxes made of metal and propelled by explosions every day. Accidents are one thing - but trucks make good improvised weapons, too, for someone with nothing to lose. 

Lex Luthor has a few desperate enemies.

One of them runs him down in plain sight, in the middle of the day, into the side of an apartment building. Everything is painful. Everything goes dark.

 

 

Oh, ambitious one... I cannot return you, but I can give you another chance, somewhere else... 

 

 

The pain is gone. He wakes up on a warm, grassy hill, with the breeze gently blowing.

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Lex Luthor remembers pain and pavement and is exceedingly confused for a short while at not experiencing this. He feels like he has forgotten something important maybe a voice....?

It does not matter now, now is the time to make sure he is actually okay. He pats himself down finding he is perfectly uninjured and has only his suit, wallet and phone.

He looks around finding he is lying on a grassy hill in an idyllic field that does not look at all like anywhere near Metropolis... Where is he? This seemed more like Europe than the state of New York.

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It really does seem more like Europe! Complete with two high sets of mountains surrounding a wide valley (Which isn't all that flat either, but it's not mountainous). There's a quaint little town surrounded by crop fields below him, all plaster walls and tile roofs except for a section that's built in a different style. Past that are cliffy hills and a few patches of forest. There are some windmills. There's no sign of asphalt roads, electrical poles, or any other actual infrastructure. He can see people walking around, but little other detail from here.

He's on a long upward-sloping hill, next to a dirt road that goes up in gently sloping switchbacks. He can't see what's at the top from here. There's a tree, a bench, and some kind of oversized lantern a short distance away.

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Well, why would he go up when civilization (an obviously impoverished subset thereof) is below him.

He gets onto the dirt road and follows it down the hill towards the town. Even the poorest of villages in Europe should have at least some evidence of modern roadwork though, even war era ones would not have degraded so fast that you could not tell they were there.

There should be at least someone with a phone that he could pay to use at the very least so down the path he goes.

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It... Really doesn't seem like the kind of place where people have phones? People are working in the fields with oxen and hand tools. A couple of them wave at him. They're dressed in almost medieval-looking clothes.

...They all have pointy ears.

He is bald, wearing a suit, and has round ears. Very strange. Most of the random farmers are wary of him, backing away or staring sternly.

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Well... This probably isn't earth then. Humans decidedly do not have pointy ears like that, no kind of Ape does.

But those do look like regular earth Oxen and he can breathe the air just fine so this most probably isn't an alien world...
Was he in a coma after the accident? was this some elaborate fabrication of his dying mind? that idea was quickly thrown out that seemed too much like a movie plot than something that would actually happen as you died and you're brain was slowly starved of oxygen.

Wherever he was it was obviously different than the world he knew but the locals didn't seem hostile and seemed human shaped at the very least. Lex Luthor the multi-billionaire tries to seem as non-threatening as possible to the closest farmer and approaches.

"Excuse me sir do you happen to speak English? Parlate Italiano? Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Trying the same phrase in the dozen languages he spoke at least well enough to ask for help in.

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The farmer holds his wooden farming tool defensively. "I can understand you. The first time, not the other times."

He understands the words, despite the fact that they're not in English. Or any language he recognizes.

"What brings you here, stranger? I don't recognize... A lot of things about you."

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Lex raises his hands defensively keeping a friendly smile on his face most definitely keeping an eye on that tool the whole time.

"No need for that my good man I am unarmed and no threat to anyone" Slightly waving his empty hands to make it extra clear he is unarmed. "I am quite lost and if you could be so kind as to tell me where I am? I don't recognize a lot of things about you either so you could imagine my distress at not knowing where I am"

His internal thoughts in turmoil all the while They understand English but do not know what English is, they have pointed ears and find me strange for not having them, they don't recognize any other European languages, this makes no sense!

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He fidgets a bit, self consciously, and lowers the pitchfork.

"Well... This here is Hateno Town, of the Necluda, of the land of Hyrule. If you're from over the sea or something I suppose you wouldn't recognize any of it. You look like a Gerudo, with the ears, but you're not, I don't think. Too pale... And yer a man."

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Lex relaxes outwardly at the lowering of the pitchfork but on the inside ready to bolt at any moment.

What that farmer said had implications, a group called Gerudo with round ears but without men, how did that even work? There are nations across the sea and that might make an acceptable cover story? There were colour differences between peoples here? He had to glean as much information as possible as fast as possible if he wanted to survive here.

"Well, of course I am a man just like you are a man, men are not a rarity are they? And if it's not a bother could you tell me how large Hyrule is or how many people live in it?" Pushing ahead with questions not confirming or denying being a Gerudo not knowing what that would mean for him, better to play the ignorant foreigner he actually was.

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"Yeah, we're men, I have a wife and a daughter and a son. But Gerudo don't. They only have daughters, so they come out from the desert looking for husbands sometimes. How many people live in Hyrule? Now, how would I know that?"

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"Well maybe someone had a population census done and the numbers were well known? Don't worry it was just curiosity and it was a long shot that the first person I spoke to would know the answers to all my questions" Hoping he didn't offend the man if asking him things he didn't know would make him insecure about his level of education.

Lex wonders if whatever strange coincidence meant that I could speak with people that were not from earth also made sure idioms carried over, bows should exist at this level of technology so maybe it would make sense regardless?.

"Well thank you for your help" And Lex does a sort of half bow he hopes would fit in most cultures, Lex Luthor bowing to what looked like a peasant farmer. Image and Ego took a back seat to practicality every time.


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Well, he's surprisingly handsome and healthy-looking for a medieval peasant farmer. Has all his teeth and everything.

"The old kingdom would've done stuff like that, maybe. Maybe the Mayor knows about how many people are in Hateno Town, at least?" He shrugs. "I know there's a lot more Hylians like me than Gerudo, Zora, Rito, or Gorons." He hesitates, "Or Koroks, but I'm still not sure if those are made up. Anyway, perhaps you'd better go see if someone in town can help you get un-lost, hmm?" Hint, hint.

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Those other names of probably different types of people were very tempting to grab onto and demand more information for, but the hint was pretty obvious and he had already thanked the man with some note of finality to it, plus the farmer probably had work to do and a mayor type would surely know more about this world.

"Excellent idea! if I am ever in a position to repay your help I will do so, goodbye" It would only be a lie if he decided to leave to some other land, because it was always good to a have a reputation that you repay your debts.

So Alexander Luthor the industrialist headed down the dirt road to a town filled with pointy-eared people in a world that was not his own.

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Nobody is openly hostile to him, but he definitely looks weird! There's more farmers, elders and kids hanging around, people doing errands. There are a few guards in uniforms wielding metal spears, who don't seem terribly educated, but let him go about after a stern warning about not making trouble. Passers-by are a little hesitant but will direct him to the Mayor's house if he asks.

There's a main street with some fairly nice-looking shops, including two inns, a few restaurants, two clothes stores, a housewares shop, a blacksmith, a general store, a bookstore, a stables, a glass-maker, a "potions and elixirs" store, some kind of construction office, and a dye shop. Seems like a decently prosperous place - at least by medieval standards. From this angle, in the town itself, he can see a tall structure of some kind at the top of the steep hill he was on. It almost looks like... An observatory?

Most of the houses have little yards or gardens, outside of the main street. The Mayor's house is unusually large and nice, but not ostentatiously so.

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Lex notices the stares and endeavours to fix this problem as soon as possible, It's not just the attention that is a problem it's also that the sun is beating down on his shiny bare scalp and a sunburn would be so inconvenient. He needs a cloak!

Maybe he can trade some of his coins away? they should at least be worth the metal they are made from, or his machined keys might be interesting enough to barter with.

A cloak to cover his head and ears with shouldn't be too expensive should it?
Seeing the bookstore on the main street gives him hope for the level of this society, a town this small with a dedicated store for books is a very good sign and Lex thinks hopeful thoughts as he strides to what looks like a general store.

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The clothes store doesn't have windows showing off their clothes - glass is present but not very common, here. The general store looks like a general store! Food, bows and arrows, cookware, and other sundries line the place. Apparently a large egg costs ten hexagonal things, presumably money, and a packet of rice also costs ten, while what looks like a cast-iron pot is selling for 150.

"Hello! And..." Blink. "...Welcome to the East Wind, your source for reliable and cheap basic goods."

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Lex smiles his salesman smile at the clerk "cheap is exactly what I am looking for" He gestures to the top of his very obviously bald head "I am looking for literally the cheapest thing I can cover my head with, but I am afraid I am not familiar with the local currency as I am not a local".

Lex vaguely gestures at the price marks showing coloured elongated hexagons.

The professionalism of the clerk only taking a moment to take in Lex's strange appearance is appreciated and noted.

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The price marks are just black rupee outlines, and a number. "Well, we generally use rupees for currency, here. They're light, easy to carry around, reasonably durable, and the process of manufacturing them seems to be lost, so it works well enough." 

He fishes around in a drawer and brings out a rainbow of little crystals, each less than an inch long. "Green, one. Blue, five. Red, twenty. Purple, fifty. Silver, one hundred. Gold, two hundred. I don't bother to complete with the tailors in town on clothes, but I think a nice hood and cape would run you about - Sixty or eighty, perhaps? If you have anything you wouldn't mind parting with I could appraise it for you?"

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The knowledge of the local currency was incredibly useful, one of the most important things to know when in a new place.

"Willing to barter are you! that is excellent!" Lex fishes out his wallet and puts all the various US currency coins on the counter, and his keyring with various keys and a security RFID dongle attached.
"These worth anything to you shopkeep? the round metal ones are a type of currency as well but you'll probably not find anyone else who'd take it as such, but maybe the engraving or metal they are made from are interesting?" He keeps the bills and credit cards in his wallet.

Lex is actually being honest about the value of the coins even though that's not in his immediate favour, he might have to do business here later and reputation was important right now.

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"I've heard of using metal as a currency. The name's Pruce, by the way." He investigates the coins. "I don't recognize the make or metal at all, aside from the copper ones. Well, they'll have some value as curiosities even if they're otherwise worthless, I suppose. What's this for?" He indicates the RFID tag.

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"Nice to meet you Pruce" Glad people had normal sounding names so his wouldn't stick out and he wouldn't have to try and guess one that fit the culture. "You can call me Lex"

Lex is very careful with the truth here, upselling but not telling any lies or misrepresenting.
"It is....a type of key? but the thing it unlocks is sadly very far away, but it is made of a material I haven't seen any of in this village and it has complex metal wires inside, I am actually a little wary of parting with it since unlike the metal coins and metal keys that could be replicated with a lot of work this I couldn't replicate"

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"...Ah, it's some kind of strange tech. Maybe those maniacs up on the hill would want it." He shakes his head. "Well, I'll give you... Fifty rupees for the coins, and thirty for the keys, not counting the techy thing."

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80 rupees... the equivalent of 8 bags of rice for everything modern I have on me besides my clothes and RFID key. Lex really doesn't have enough information to make a properly educated choice. He strokes his chin as he considers the trade. "I will trust you aren't tricking a poor foreigner here since so far you've been very helpful." Lex holds out his hand just realising maybe handshakes are not a thing here and hoping for the best. "I will take the deal, good doing business with you."

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He can get a handshake! And 80 rupees!

"Indeed, good doing business. If they turn out to be a lot more valuable than I'm thinking I'll have more money for you in a few days, to show good faith. And if you need more money to get on your feet, I can give you a little stocking work."

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You need money to make money, so he will take that stocking work.

"How much are people paid for basic work per hour or per day Pruce? and most businessmen back home wouldn't offer to give someone more money after a purchase is finalized, Glad you were the first person I've done business with here." Lex certainly would have just kept any excess profits from a purchase like that.

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