Lev kisses him. "I don't want to scare you. I don't want to do things to you that you don't want."

He kisses Lev. "I know you don't. I'm not scared of you." 

He feels warm and fuzzy and soft inside.

"You're so beautiful."

Another kiss. "You're so soft." 

He flinches but keeps holding onto Sasha. 

"— I don't mean like that, just — whenever you touch me you're so gentle, even when you were biting me you were gentle about it." 

Lev sighs. "I like that."

"Good." He settles into Lev's chest like he'd settle into a mattress. "You're good." 

He really really wants to tell Sasha he loves him. 

"You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me."

He makes a soft pleased sound into Lev's shoulder. 

"...I should probably go to the bathroom and possibly change, this is uncomfortable," he says after a couple of minutes. 

"Sure thing," Lev says. 

(He feels anxious about that. He's not sure why.)

One more kiss on the cheek and he gets up and brings a change of underwear into the bathroom. 

...while he's alone, he takes a moment to put cold water on his face and the back of his neck before he comes back out. 

While Sasha's in the bathroom he can have a small panic about how he's a terrible person!

When Sasha comes out, Lev is smiling. "You're so pretty."

"Thank you!" He climbs back into bed. 

Lev holds him. "I think two panic attacks is probably enough for one day."

"Yes. At some point we will manage to actually have sex and nobody will have a panic attack at any point but today is not the day to try again." He smooshes into Lev's shoulder. 

"...I obviously don't want you to have panic attacks but it is reassuring that I am not the only person in this relationship who's fucked up."

Hum. "Yeah. It's — easier, with someone who's been there. Or somewhere kind of adjacent to there." 

"It makes me feel... safer. Like... you're like this too, so you won't judge me as much for it."

(but Sasha does judge you-- do you really think he's happy with someone as fucked up as you are--)

"Even before I wouldn't have judged you for having panic attacks. It's not your fault you're in pain." 

Lev kisses him. "It doesn't matter."

He kisses back. "It doesn't." 

"...I don't think I'd had any idea how nice kissing is before."

"Yeah." 

Another kiss. 

"...took me a while to relearn." 

"I want to give you every nice thing in the world."