"Snow White signed off on it apparently."

"...Auradon," he says, in the exact same tone he uses when he says "You're so weird" to Asher. 

"...I can't believe that was exactly as terrifying as it was when I was a kid."

Oh, good, it wasn't just him. "The boulder was a nice touch but they really could stand to tone it down on the things jumping out at you." 

Small World!

Dancing animatronics from every country in the Auradon! Extremely catchy, extremely annoying song! Very inaccurate 'traditional' garb! The Isle doesn't exist at all according to Small World.

Oh thank god, he wasn't actually morbidly curious enough to want to see that. 

"I can't decide if it's tackier or less tacky than everything Chad Charming has ever said or done, what do you think?" he says to Asher halfway through. 

"You're supposed to make out on it! It's traditional."

"That sounds like a bad idea, and also like something you'd say whether it was true or not, and also I can wait to make out with you until we're in actual private and this song isn't playing." 

"I can't believe my honesty is being impugned in this way! --I think it's worse than Chad because there's no way I can hit it, and yet better than Chad because it features animatronic Louis playing the saxophone." (They are passing through New Orleans. He indicates a crocodile.)  

He laughs and puts his head on Asher's shoulder and keeps it there until they get to the end. 

"Snow!" Kaleva says to Chen. "Of course the thing they use to indicate that we're in Arendelle is snow!"

"Well, there was this kind of famous event that happened in Arendelle a few years back, I'm not sure if you would have heard of it, but —" He cuts himself off; the joke's not that funny. "Don't get me started on the China section, if even a single person from China worked on it I'd be shocked." 

"Nope, I'm pretty sure it's accurate. 100% of Chinese people spend all their time waving around fans in front of a pagoda."

"Obviously. Don't know what else anyone might think we do." 

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!

It starts out promising. You're a toad, you're in a car, and you're going on a joyride because toads are not very good at operating machinery. Sometimes you crash into things and it goes BOOM. Things occasionally jump out at you but they are labeled "EXPLOSIVES!!!!" in a funny font and are not creepy trees.

Then Mr. Toad gets called in front of a judge who sentences him to execution and the last room is a bunch of demons in Hell. 

"That is not even CLOSE to being the plot of Wind in the Willows."

"...at least there wasn't a song?" 

"Why would anyone adapt a book about rats going sailing so that it strongly implies you go to hell for unsafe driving?!"

"To discourage children from driving unsafely? I never actually saw The Wind in the Willows, but that seems like something that a person might think was a good idea?" 

"It's about lazing around by the river! Nothing happens in the entire book! No one goes to hell!"

"You can't really make a ride out of lazing by a river. I'm not sure how you make a book out of lazing by a river." 

"Boringly. --Speaking of lazing by the river, let's go to Splash Mountain."

Something about his tone of voice seems off.

".....Kay." 

"If you want a surprise when you're on the ride, keep your eyes closed when we get close."

.....could be fun. 

"Alright, but someone's going to have to make sure I don't bump into things."