Much to Asher's grave irritation, Fairy Godmother is right. He has had sex with many people and then made them beignets in the morning, so the fact that he had sex with Sasha and made Sasha beignets will probably totally fail to convey the intended message of "I love you and you're the most wonderful person in the world." On the other hand, saying that would make Sasha flee in terror. He is stuck.

He compromises with himself by saying, "Well, it doesn't matter, because in fact there is only one man I am trying to catch."

"You're the best decision." 

Can they be cuddling? They should be cuddling. 

They can be cuddling but ONLY if they are also eating baked apples.

This is the best food Sasha has had in his entire life and he has absolutely no complaints about eating it while cuddling with Asher. 

Meanwhile, back at Kaleva and Chen's dorm room--

Kaleva is pacing back and forth. "Where is Sasha? What happened to him?"

There's a knock on the door before Chen can answer him. 

Kaleva opens the door and hugs the person at the door without checking who it is, which would have been really inconvenient if it were someone other than Sasha.

"Good morning," he says into Kaleva's shoulder. "I brought — I don't remember how to pronounce them but it's something in French, Asher made them, they're great and you should try them." 

"You were at Asher's and he made you beignets?"

"…yes?" 

Sasha had sex with Asher! And he stayed over! And Asher is much more attractive than Kaleva, and more charming, and better at flirting, and better at sports, and better at sex, and smarter, and richer, and friends with King Ben, and capable of making delicious homemade desserts, and extremely unlikely to respond to his partner having sex with someone else which he agreed was okay by wanting to run into the bathroom and cry. So probably Sasha is going to leave him, and Kaleva is going to lose half of the people who ever cared about him, and not be able to have sex with the other half because he can't tell by himself when Chen's 'no's actually mean 'no' unless it's really obvious. And all that is okay, it's fine, because Sasha will be happy and no one would ever really be happy to date Kaleva and if he really loved Sasha which he does he would be okay with Sasha dating Prince Asher who is totally superior in every possible way.

Kaleva doesn't say any of this.

He takes a beignet and says "you should have one, Chen, they're really good."

"They are," he agrees, and takes one. "How was the party?" 

"Fun!" He debates whether to share who was there, decides not to. "It was a really interesting group of people, I got to argue about politics, it was good." 

"And then you stayed the night with Asher?" Kaleva asks, trying to sound casual and miserably failing.

"It was late and I didn't want to move and he was going to make me breakfast, I wasn't going to not." 

Maybe they didn't have sex? 

No, it's Asher, they definitely at least made out.

Why is he so upset about this, he shouldn't be upset, Sasha is happy because Asher is better than Kaleva in every conceivable way and he should be happy when Sasha is happy even if it's about someone other than him. 

(Unaccountably, this thought completely fails to improve Kaleva's mood.) 

He sits on the couch and stares at the wall glumly.

Sasha curls up on the couch next to him. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes." No.

Kaleva is not very good at lying. "What's wrong?" 

"...Asher's better than me."

"How so?" 

"He's-- more handsome and smarter and more charming and better at sports and he knows King Ben and he can cook and he wouldn't freak out like this if you had sex with someone else."

"I like the way you look. I don't care about sports, sorry Chen but I don't. I'll believe he's smarter when I see it and not before. I don't actually need to know two people who know King Ben. More charming, maybe if you prefer half-joking grandiosity to earnestness. Of course he wouldn't freak out if I had sex with someone else, I mean more to you than I mean to him. He can cook, though, I'll give you that one." 

"I'm in classes with him-- he really is smarter. There's a joke. The New Orleans IQ test is how long it takes for you to notice that Asher is smarter than you."

He seems visibly less freaked out.

"And you're a better teacher and you're softer and you're better at reaching out and you care about using the signals that will mean something to me and you're protective and you're sweet. What's your point?"