"Very good. God be with you." He hangs up. 

"You were so evil, Zaida!"

"Was I very bad," whispers Zaida.

"You were so bad! Now we can order whatever we want off the room service menu and watch TV, and later we will brush our teeth and go to bed."

"I like TV!!"

"Well, first you have to pick what you want off the room service menu."

"OK! I can't read menus. I can only read letters."

Fred reads the parts of the menu he thinks she will like to her. She can have spaghetti, or chicken nuggets and french fries, or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Zaida wants peanut butter and jelly! Peanut butter and jelly has BREAD.

He calls the room service!

"I'd like a kale salad and the ravioli, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and-- mm-- TWO chocolate chip cookies."

TWO!!!

Zaida eats almost her entire sandwich before she asks for her cookie, but then she remembers that she is bad, and eating cookies before you finish dinner is something bad people do, so then she asks for hers.

Fred is not a monster who would deny small children cookies!

She has a COOKIE.

"This is a very good cookie," she informs him. "It's better than the cookies I stole."

"Did you steal cookies just from the bad people or also from your mommy?"

"Mommy gives me cookies unless they'll make me sick. I stole them from the other people because they said I couldn't have any cookies forever and ever unless I was good."

What the frick. 

Fred realizes there are so many worse things about the Meltons, but who denies a three-year-old cookies forever?

"Well, when you are at your mommy's, you won't have to steal cookies any more."

"Yeah! And Auntie Keturah will tell me stories again and I can go outside and I can pick up rocks and I can draw stars!"

"All of those things! I wish I could do some of them with you but we have to get you to your mommy as fast as we can, because your mommy misses you, and also because I am committing a felony."

"What's a felony?"

"A felony is one of the WORST things you can do, and if you get caught you are in so much trouble."

"Ohhh. Will you get caught?"

"I really hope not!"

"I hope not too! Can we watch cartoons?"

"Yes!!!"

Fred will, sadly, not watch the new Teen Titans show because it is not appropriate for three-year-olds.

That's fair. Zaida isn't picky about cartoons; she has favorites but she doesn't know what channel they're on and is mostly glad that she gets to watch cartoons at all. Cartoons are easier to understand than grown-up shows.

"I don't have my PJs," muses Zaida, eventually.

"I have PJs," Fred says. 

They have stars on them.