"Penèlope. I live out near the big rock that looks like a face."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Penèlope," he repeats. "This consultation is mainly to help us get a better sense of what evils you need to be redeemed of. To that end, it's very important that you be honest with me, alright? If you aren't fully honest during the actual spell, it won't work."

Nod. It feels a little like the floor is falling out from underneath her but that's stupid and pathetic so she ignores it.

"Why don't you start by describing, in broad terms, what sorts of Evils you're trying to make up for?"

"Diabolism, obviously. Blasphemy against the Good gods. Spreading the teachings of Asmodeus — my husband was the schoolteacher here, I helped him with the lessons sometimes." Swallow. "Trying to persuade my husband to run away with me, when I realized they were probably going to have him killed." It doesn't really matter if she gets killed for that, as long as he casts the spell first. "Neglecting my appearance. Using the paper money. Not helping my neighbors even when I thought they might starve. Spreading lies about another woman that I thought my husband might be into. Harming animals for fun." She really doesn't understand why the last few are Evil but they were in the sword-priest's sermon.

He's taking notes. "Is that everything?"

"It's everything I can think of."

He frowns softly. "You say your husband was a teacher, and that you helped him with the lessons. Did you never help him with the punishments?"

"—Is that Evil?" How else are you supposed to keep order in the classroom?

Carles gives her a look of faint disappointment. "Is it Evil to have a child whipped for failing to live up to the demands of Asmodeus? For failing to understand Asmodeus's teachings, or rejecting them outright?"

He places a hand on her shoulder. "I'm worried about you, Penèlope. I want to help you. Abadar wants to help you. But I am worried that you've given yourself over so fully to Asmodeus that the Atonement won't work — not because you're too far gone for Abadar to help you, no one is too far gone for that, but because you've done great Evils that you won't even think to repent of."

"I don't really know how I'd avoid that, Fiducia."

"Would you like me to talk you through common sorts of Evils, that some people in Cheliax don't realize are Evil? I can't guarantee I'll think of everything you've done, but I think it can only help to consider them."

She is not really sure how even a Neutral god can forgive someone like her but it's not like the fate of her eternal soul can possibly get worse. "Yes. Please."

"Forcing a woman to lie with you. Suicide — or attempted suicide, I presume you have not returned from the dead. Self-mutilation."

"What's — included, in that?"

"If it would be wrong to do to another like you, it is no less wrong to do to yourself. Certainly anything that left you with permanent injuries, even scars, would qualify."

"How else are you supposed to make yourself do things you don't want to, sir?"

Again, there's that disappointed expression. "Penèlope, are you trying to make excuses? Abadar won't be able to help you if you can't even admit that what you did was wrong."

"—Of course it was wrong, sir, I'm just confused about what I was supposed to do instead. I don't want to waste Abadar's blessing." If she can even receive it at all, which she's not feeling very sure of.

"Good and Neutral people typically cultivate habits of self-discipline, so that they don't need to resort to such Evil deeds."

That doesn't really help but maybe just because she's Evil. She hasn't done much of that sort of thing since she left school, anyways, apart from right after her husband was executed. "...What else?"

"Offenses against the righteous gods. You spoke of blasphemy, earlier, but that is far from the only way one can offend the gods." He hesitates. "—Before I list examples, I want you to try to think of some on your own, so that I can take a guess at whether you're starting to understand the gravity of what you've done well enough for the Atonement to work."

She desperately does not want to answer this, not when it might prove she's too Evil to be redeemed, but if she doesn't answer it's basically the same as giving up on not being awful. "I mentioned neglecting my appearance already, and diabolism.

I've wronged Erastil by thinking myself better than the serfs. I've wronged Cayden by preferring my wine very watered down, as much as possible without getting sick. I sometimes get upset at Sebastià for singing while he works, but his singing is terrible, so I don't know if I'm the one offending against Shelyn or he is. —I'm not making excuses, I genuinely don't know."