to the Remarkable and Justifiably Admired Catherine Aspexia So On And So Forth

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Nov 23, 2024 7:18 PM

To the Remarkable and Justifiably Admired Catherine Aspexia So On And So Forth, notable among the Legendary Adventurers Who Freed Cheliax From Hell, Enjoying The Sincere Respect Of The Free Peoples Of The World Wholly In Spite Of the Additional Names She Chose After Doing So:

I heard great tidings today. Not directly, as I am in an antimagic cell; but I heard a great cheer go up from elsewhere, and recognized the voices in it, and knew what it probably meant; and a short time after that I was conveyed a letter confirming it. It is news I had hoped for very dearly, every day, eighteen months ago, and then despaired of ever hearing, and then in the last week seen cause to hope for again.

More of the people of Cheliax are free. The country has decided it can do with less slavery.

Thank you. Not for my sake, of course; I have always been free, and still am, though I haven't figured out a way out of your cell yet. But few of those who endured in bondage until this day possess the audacity yet, I suspect, to thank you for it, and also once that audacity arrives (and arrive it will!) they might quite justifiably be furious for that unnecessary further year they waited. I do not know if there is anyone who feels their anger, who has felt it every day since those who count liberty quite cheaply declared Cheliax liberated, and who would still know to thank you today; and so I write to you.

I know you to have, among the thousand concerns of a people warped by Hell, seen this Evil for what it is, and to have started down the road to ending it, even if it took you too long. Even if you are not done.

I want to help.

I was not at all sure a week ago that I wanted to help. There are many places not ruled by Hell that I would not name allies, much less friends; not all Evil comes from Hell, not even most of it, and the Evils of Absalom and of Taldor are a satisfactory ending point of efforts to expunge Evil, for many who name themselves Queens. And I knew very little about you; only what you triumphed over, and what you chose to call yourself about it, and who you chose to marry, and in only one of those did I see much common ground.

But now I know also that you want your people to be free, not just to consign themselves to the ordinary unfreedom of men not ruled by Hell, and this inspires me in charity about your other vices. I too have terrible taste in men, actually. There is a great deal of work going undone in Cheliax; but perhaps, rather than assuming that you did not mean to do it, we should have assumed that you needed our help to get it done. I regret, in any event, having put the interests of saltwater cod insurers above those interests that we seem to share, and I find myself inspired to question how I spent the last year as much as I question how you did.

I can teleport, and I would like to be about the work of fixing Cheliax, instead of sitting here while you argue with my saltwater cod superiors over how much they owe you for the trouble. I think you should release me on parole.

You say, of course, what parole do Chaotic mercenaries give, and mean when they give it? and I say that the question is at least more complicated than that description makes it sound; but more importantly I say that you have in your service - in your remarkably immediate service! - very scary archmages who would not be substantially inconvenienced in retrieving me from the furthest reaches of Arcadia, and so you can trust my sense if you don't trust my word. May your negotiations with my saltwater cod superiors continue; I wish to spend them free, in the service of a freer people, whether you need cargo runs to the Worldwound or azatas for every orphanage.

Yours,
Cat

P.S. This fellow you threw in the antimagic cells with me also seems wasted here, and I'll keep an eye on him and prevent him from starting any armed rebellions if you choose to release him along with my people; but I admitted already that my taste in men is dreadful. The company of my allies who were arrested alongside me, on the other hand, is a necessity; they possess most of my common sense, more than half my charm, and (as you may have inferred already) all of my knowledge of how to write letters to monarchs without infuriating them and getting oneself executed.

P.P.S. Catherine is a great name and I don't see why anyone would set it aside in favor of 'Aspexia'.

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Aspexia III

stare-unbelieving

lantalótë

Aspexia has the Andorens brought to her at breakfast on the morning of the 10th.

"The problem that We have is that if We charge you with attempting to burn down the port of Westcrown, then for the next week the Convention will be petitioning Us to invade Andoran instead of writing a constitution like they're supposed to be doing. We do not wish to conquer Andoran. We would gain nothing from it and lose much. There are no good reasons for Cheliax to conquer your country, and We would be obliged if you would stop giving Our people bad ones.

...So We are going to offer you parole. Deal with one of the empire's problems, return a third of the plunder - if there is any - to the crown, and you'll have your freedom. If you decline - or if We think you won't keep to the deal - you can sit in jail for another week or so, have a hopefully very quiet trail for sabotage, and likely have all the possessions you were arrested with confiscated to cover the fine."