"I'll leave you two in peace," Aaren says, with a careful look to Zev, a question about whether he'll talk to Nova about what they discussed. "Give me a yell if you want those bowls reheated," he offers, taking his own bowl and leaving the room.

Once Aaren is gone, Zev sits up so he can look in Nova’s eyes. 

“Aaren wants us to talk to someone. He thinks it will help. I think it will help.”

Nova does his best to keep the eye-contact, but he's not used to it, and it's uncomfortable, even with Zev, and his eyes dart away, and then back. "I- if- if you think so?"

"I want it to be your decision too. I know it's harder." Zev wraps his other hand around their joined ones, hugging it tightly. "I just want you to see that you're not bad. There's nothing bad or wrong about you."

-he can't make this decision, he doesn't know how to. But Zev wants him to-

But he doesn't know how to. And-

And he is bad, isn't he? They wouldn't have always been telling him that if he wasn't-

"I- if you think it'll help?" he says, and it's not, perhaps, as certain as people might like, but it's as close to certain as he's going to be capable of.

He quotes Aaren. "I don't think it will hurt." 

He gently pulls Nova's head to his, to press his lips to his temple. "I think we've hurt enough."

...does he say te amo? I love you? Does he pretend he never said it at all?

"Okay," Nova agrees, pressing closer to Zev, leaning a little into the touch.

(He still doesn't know how to say how he feels about Zev. Wishes Zev would say something so he can respond...)

Fuck it. 

“I love you.” He nuzzles his head to Nova’s. 

He clings a little tighter, and there's that small smile again and-

"You too," he manages.

“You don’t have to say that.” 

His desperate heart wishes he meant it. 

He tucks himself down a little, tries to figure out the words to get Zev to believe him.

"I- but I- I do?"

“Nova, please.” 

Don’t. I will love you no matter what, but don’t tell me you love me now. 

...he doesn't understand why Zev doesn't want him to say it back. Makes that lost sound again. Because Zev deserves love so much more than Nova does and-

He wants him to mean it. He wants it so badly.

 “I only want you to say it if you meant it.”

"-but I do?"

“Nova-“

Stop. You don’t have to appease me. 

Nova tries to press himself closer, tries to make Zev understand. Because he doesn't know the words to convince him. "I do," he repeats stubbornly, because he doesn't know what else to say.

Zev smiles. He accepts it. For whatever it means to Nova. 

“I love you too.”

That gets what is probably the largest smile Zev has ever seen out of Nova, and Nova shuffles, so he's clinging a little less desperately, but still snuggled close to Zev.

Zev cuddles into Nova, his heart feeling a little more full, even though there was no reason for it. 

He leans contently against Zev's side. (He feels warm, in a way he so rarely does.)

Zev gathers as much of Nova into his arms as he could. He loves this boy and would hold him throughout anything. 

A few hours later, the front door opens, and 'Chelle and Lan can be heard talking as they doubtless take off jackets and shoes.

'Chelle pads into the living room, yawning, and pushing her hair out of her face.

Zev nearly doesn’t notice, tucked as he is into Nova, but the flash of blue catches his attention. 

“Wasn’t...wasn’t your hair green?”