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This is the wrong building. She could have sworn the RA said "take a left at Emily, first on your right", and Bella did exactly that, and here she is and the rooms in this place don't even seem to be numbered, it's all letters and names. She's not going to find Intro to Subtle Therapy in Room 206 like that. Maybe the RA meant take a left after Emily, not before Emily? Maybe she was supposed to go the other way around the quad and approach Emily from the other direction? She's going to be late.
Bella tries to get out of the letter-named-rooms building to go ask Emily for directions, but that's not a stairwell after all, and there's someone shouting at her not to come in and she flinches back and clonks her elbow on the door and boots or no boots she's down and she -
- is falling -
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subtly_artistic
We had that by Cuivienen. That seems - better, because then him being broken isn't my fault? Maybe?
If Finwë and I had no children and Fëanáro appeared out of the air like you, then I'd - well, I'd still have no energy, but forgetting that - I'd want to teach him and hug him and be reliable for him. I couldn't do it and I'd still be numb, but I don't feel any desire to insult him.
subtly_artistic
Nod.
...My textbook doesn't mention this as a treatment for postpartum depression, which makes me think it probably doesn't work, but I can undo it if it doesn't work and it would be quick to try - I could cover up some of your earlier memories of Fëanáro and see if that lets you think of him in a more context-free way?
...My textbook doesn't mention this as a treatment for postpartum depression, which makes me think it probably doesn't work, but I can undo it if it doesn't work and it would be quick to try - I could cover up some of your earlier memories of Fëanáro and see if that lets you think of him in a more context-free way?
Is there a risk I'll lose them entirely?
How small?
subtly_artistic
I don't have exact numbers. I think less than one in a hundred times I try this will it be harder than I expect to put the memory back, and maybe two times in twenty of those I won't be able to put it back when I try and one of those I'll mess something else up trying.
Okay. I suppose Finwë can always osanwë me them.
subtly_artistic
We don't have to try it if you're worried, it really isn't mentioned in the book - but it's not mentioned as a thing not to try, either, and amnesia does treat some things really effectively and I don't know how much I should assume this is a textbook case.
What does the book say to try for this?
subtly_artistic
My book is more of an 'about' than a 'how-to'. So it doesn't say much, but it mentions lists of techniques that can come up, including the affect patch, and things that can affect presentation, like when I wanted to read your affect to see if there were emotions present you couldn't notice or just no emotions.
Okay. Let's try the memory thing.
On what? His whole life?
subtly_artistic
I was thinking just the beginning of it when he was born; it's not long-term viable to cover over the entire thing and if there's an incremental improvement I can always cover up more things.
Okay. So starting where?
subtly_artistic
I've never given birth myself so I'm not sure how it best forms into a discrete event; whatever seems like the starting point of it to you should be fine for a trial like this.
Okay. She concentrates.
subtly_artistic
And Bella goes and finds it, and marks the start and the end -
- finds all the tendrils the memory has drawn elsewhere through Miriel's mind, remembering it and forming a new memory of the remembrance, gosh this has been on her mind a lot -
- and draws a cloud over all of it, gentle, gentle, not deleting, just obscuring.
- finds all the tendrils the memory has drawn elsewhere through Miriel's mind, remembering it and forming a new memory of the remembrance, gosh this has been on her mind a lot -
- and draws a cloud over all of it, gentle, gentle, not deleting, just obscuring.
She tries to be calm and not think about things.
subtly_artistic
It takes awhile, before she's sure she's got the memory and all its aftereffects, and turns the cloud opaque.
She gasps.
And then remembers not to do that and goes quiet again.
And then remembers not to do that and goes quiet again.
Wow. Yeah. Wow. My head is a lot clearer. She frowns. You need to put it back, right now.