Simplicio: Is it true that the Carlota Chelam is a Wicked Tyrant? I am a credulous fool, who believes whatever he is told.
Chelamio: It's all vile slander, and I shall disprove whatever lies you have heard. Also I am not at all Carlota Chelam in a wig.
Simplicio: I have heard tell that the duchess of Chelam considers herself the rightful empress!
Chelamio: She will settle for only a fifth of the empire.
Simplicio: What of the claims that she seeks to end the freedom of the pen because she is bad at writing pamphlets?
Chelamio: Carlota Chelam is an excellent pamphlet writer and wants to end the freedom of the pen before everyone else is humiliated.
Simplicio: And is it true that she is a disgusting hag?
Chelamio: I am - I mean, she is - incredibly beautiful, and will have anyone who says otherwise whipped.
Simplicio: I have heard tell that her guards murder pamphleteers who insult her.
Chelamio: This is nonsense, such pamphleteers are struck down by archons sent by Iomedae herself to defend her most holy follower. Carlota Chelam is the most virtuous woman in all of Cheliax and would never dream of doing anything evil.
Simplicio: I am enlightened! Though I am a credulous fool, I now know the truth of the matter, and shall tell the world what I have learned!
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