He considers the options he’s being presented with, one at a time, given his new information about pain (it’s not good right now).

kill yourself. He used to get this one every time and now it’s back. He’s not going to do this. No matter how many problems it seems like it would solve, someone important depends on his mind working right now and it wouldn’t work if he was dead.

tear off the base of your arm. it’s not yours. Then the torture would have been wasted, they would all be worse off, and besides pain isn’t good right now. He also thinks that Pradnakt would disapprove of this option. And there is a chance that the arm is still his and he’s just bad at thinking about it right now.

cut yourself. He also got this one every time. Pain isn’t good right now, so he can’t do this, no matter how much it used to fix.

leave before someone else gets hurt. He can’t do that anymore.

draw. That would work, if he had his left hand, but he doesn’t have his left hand, it was taken, and now the arm belongs to someone else and he’ll never have his own body again and maybe he should move on to the next option and not think about this.

cut yourself. We already did this one. Pain isn’t good right now.

cut yourself. Pain isn’t good right now.

break something. ...that means something is broken, but he can fix it, or they can replace it. It’s not his money but it might be better than any of the alternatives and he really wants to make something outside his head as not okay as he feels.

cut yourself. ...

i think i need to break something so i don’t hurt myself.

She squeezes him tight. There really isn't anything breakable to hand - the furniture, maybe. Or - would sparring help? It helps her, and it's like breaking things.

...it might. but it’d hurt us.

Hurt him, probably, which is good, but it’s not good because that hurts her, but...if she’s doing it does it count? He thinks it might not count.

He wonders if he can still fight with just the one arm.

You're not going to hurt enough to bother me. I meant it when I said I didn't regret it, Love. She sends Daisy to the nurse's station to arrange for a room for it.

He wants to say “Yes, but”. He doesn’t know how he would finish that sentence. It bothers him.

It’ll be good to hit something, though. And to be hit.

She nuzzles his shoulder. Pain is part of life. I'm not as enthusiastic about it as you are, but I'm not going to flinch away from it. And you've seen me fight. Do you really think I'd begrudge you something I didn't even mind from that twerp?

it’d be good for me, he says, even though he knows that that shouldn’t be an objection, what he’s objecting to isn’t even that...

and hurting you. i’d be (enjoying?) the thing that was hurting you. Again.

Sure. That doesn't make it worse, it makes it better.

Something that hurts someone he loves shouldn’t make him happy. That means there’s something wrong with him.

...but if she says it’s okay it’s good for him to believe her — he knows it’s okay, because he can see it — and maybe it’ll still work.

Everything has a cost, Love. It's worth it if it's what you need. Really. She takes his hand in hers. I want good things for you. I want this.

He considers whether he would feel the same way about this if they were just hurting each other normally, and he realizes that he wouldn’t.

(Maybe she can feel what it was for him, before, when he’s better.)

okay.

She relaxes, and chuckles. I have your memories, Love. I already know.

they don’t do it justice.

All right. (She wants to kiss him, maybe give him a little nip, but - not in the mood he's in, quite. Hopefully Daisy will be back soon.)

He’s already feeling like he was never upset—but he knows it’s coming back, and that he still needs to do something about it.

(She should kiss him when they’re done.)

She will definitely kiss him when they're done.

For now, she just snuggles him.

He’s in favor.

He manages to stop thinking and just be here, be with her, until Daisy returns.

It takes a while, but she makes it back eventually, following politely behind a young Dorfu woman.

    "Hello?"

He reluctantly extracts himself from their—her arms enough to sit up.

“...hello?”

He’s not sure why someone else is here.

"Hi! I'm Eluned - they said you needed a spotter for some sparring?"

Pradnakt sits up too. "We don't need one." I don't mind her staying, though, if you're okay with that. Make Dr. Deyne worry less.

"Oh, is that a Sith thing, the talking?"

He thinks they owe them all a little less worry.

“Just us.”

"That's cool." She turns to Daisy. "Did they tell you where the room is?"

    "Yes, Ma'am."

"I'm ready whenever you are, then."

He swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands.

(She seems nice.)