No I am not. I look like it. But I don't even look like this, this is a seeming Odin placed on me; under it I'm blue and I have red eyes and I may or may not have ice magic that I can't get to work and I'm probably supposed to be twice this tall but that didn't come off even in the presence of a Balrog. My species is from a place more like the Ice the newcomers crossed than the caves where the Dwarves live, let alone a forest. Even Asgard, which is more like places that would be familiar and comfortable to Quendi, none of the history comes to a point with yours. We did not branch off from any of Eru's creations, and your mother is confident that you would have to traverse more than just space to get to where I grew up, you'd have to go to a completely other reality. The Dwarves do not look much like you and they have different customs and interests but they are more kin than I am. If the factor is kin, and not personhood, not common goals, then I will stop being close enough to kin the moment someone wants me dead and cannot consider me kin at the same time.

Did Gorthaur say this to you?

No, my heritage didn't come up with him at all except for his interest in my possession of free will. Since I found out I was blue after I killed his Balrog he probably doesn't even know I'm a kidnapped frost giant.

I don't mean that bit, I mean did he tell you that you needed to be afraid we'd kill you if you disobeyed my father.

No, that didn't come up either. I'm not strongly paranoid about this, but I do not think I can rely on a taboo with the word 'kin' in it.

I don't want you to leave Doriath and not come back.

I'm not thrilled about the prospect either. It's nice to have somewhere safe to go. It's not safe if I can't leave.

I'll ask my father for his word that he won't ever hurt you unless you're attacking people.

You don't need to do that, and it's not an attack I'm worried about so much as strategic protective custody without my cooperation.

They're terrified you're going to get captured. Or killed. Or a better offer. But I don't think they can take you into custody without your cooperation and I really really don't think they'd be willing to have other people get hurt over it.

I don't think they can keep me, but if I have to actually escape, I can't very well come back.

So you can not worry about it and keeping coming back until it gets to that point, at least, and I don't think it will.

Yes, I suppose.

Is it possible that they're right? That you're safer here and should stay here, and will make anywhere else you go into a target for the Enemy?

It's possible. I have considered parking here for extended periods of time for similar reasons. But it would be a terrible pity if someone decided that was not my decision to make and in so doing deprived me of my only refuge; it would not have the desired effect.

I'll talk to my father.

Thank you.

Are you feeling any better? I can't even imagine -

I'm not satisfied by the lack of solution to the - abandonment of the Men. They are three weeks old. He's setting the tone for their entire civilization, their other neighbors have no interest in presenting an alternative example, these helpless people have been deposited in hostile terrain without anything they'd need to fight off werewolves or see through misinformation, your mother is the only non-evil Power I'm aware of who shows up to work on this continent and she's heavily invested here not there - and they deserve better, and he's not going to get any easier to pry loose.

And there's nothing at all anyone who isn't a Power can do.

A Power or me.

You might die. You might not die. You wouldn't win.

Yes, that's the problem.

I'm sorry whatever it is you were hoping for with your magic didn't happen.

I may yet get it. Might require further proximity to Balrogs. Are Balrogs in limited supply? Can I go pick a fight with those somehow, work off some frustration?