Apr 01, 2020 5:07 AM
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This warning is of extreme importance. Failure to comply may result in the doom of your civilization.

Do not play or distribute house-building simulation games based on hieroglyphs found in mysterious and ancient frog temples (exception: in the event of end-of-the-world scenarios not resulting from mysterious meteor showers, play such games is not only harmless but highly beneficial, as is distributing them as widely as possible).

In the event that a game's origin is ambiguous, other warning signs of civilization-dooming games include a starting menu allowing you to place an "alchemiter", "totem lathe", "cruxtruder" and "pre-punched card" and a requirement that play be multiplayer and that players be organized in pairs comprising a server and a client player. If either or both of these signs is definitely absent a game may be considered safe. If you are unsure of a game's origins I highly recommend you err on the side of caution.

Further elaboration on the risks involved in playing such games may be found in my GameFAQs article.

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Oh dear.

Are you alright? 

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Thank you for your concern, RIVKA. I believe I am currently suffering from a variety of emotional issues as a result of negligent parenting by my alcoholic mother as well as considerable trauma from the destruction of my entire civilization at the unwitting hands of myself and my friends followed by a period of several days during which I was routinely attacked by monsters.

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I suspect it says something about how well my mother succeeded at modeling my psychological processes off of human ones that I find the first problem comparably distressing to the latter. 

How many other survivors are there?

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There are five survivors of our civilization that I know of. These are myself, my brother, our friends John and Jade, and John's grandmother who is also Jade's biological mother. My precognition suggests that we will also be able to rescue a few more people from an alternate universe version of our planet before it is also destroyed. There are likely other survivors, numbering at most several hundred, in other parts of the Furthest Ring, but we have not been able to contact them to confirm their survival or otherwise. We may or may not eventually be able to rescue even more people using more complicated time travel and planet-duplication shenanigans.

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Can you retrieve non-person items? Forgive me for being crude, and I'm quite sure survival of those who can be saved is a higher priority, but a few hundred doesn't sound like an entirely stable gene pool; a gamete bank would probably be quite useful in the long run.

 

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I am sorry for the vast tragedy of your world.

Given the collapse of your civilization, it might be worthwhile for you to consider evacuating to another world. Several individuals have successfully created portals from their own world to another. I myself have not yet successfully aimed such a portal, but I would welcome you and your friends if you came to my world.

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In general, RIVKA, we can retrieve non-person items as easily as we can people. With genes in particular, we have advanced biotech equipment which should keep inbreeding from being an issue.

We are already evacuating to another world, Arborist, although if you could direct us to an already inhabited one that would be helpful. I don't know what information you would need to facilitate aiming a portal.

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I do not know either. I will attempt to aim the next portal I create toward your world using the information I have about it, although it is difficult to determine whether anything I do to the ritual has any effect on its result at all, unless the portal ceases to function. If you can evacuate to my world, you would be welcome in it.

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Arborist, I'm afraid I'm not currently in a world at all- I'm in an asteroid in the Furthest Ring, which is a region between universes in which time and space are chaotic and indistinct.

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