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Zanthe likes to consider herself a reasonable person. When she kills people, it's for a reason; Alaine's mom needs fed, she needs some cash, she's bored that day. If someone offers criticism, she gives it all due consideration before stabbing them. She's perfectly happy to cooperate with others, even, as long as they follow all of her commands to the letter and don't question her or have an annoying face or something.
(To be fair, by Alternian standards this puts her somewhere just below Troll Mahatma Gandhi.)
At the moment, however, she is feeling decidedly unreasonable. Leo blew off her perfectly good advice to leave the goddamn sliding puzzle alone and kill himself into immortality, and what's worse, Alaine backed him up. She's used to him agreeing with her ruthless play style, but for some reason he felt like the pointless sidequests would be useful, and "it's not like we're in some kind of hurry, right?"
So, like the reasonable person she is, she stormed out of the computer room and went off to explore the meteor and steal people's stuff from the chests. So far she's found Sky's lacy underthings, a handful of boonbucks, Ari's lacy underthings (which she files away for later perusal), and more weapons than anyone could reasonably need, all of which have gone straight into her inventory.
She opens another door. It leads-
to a refreshmentblock?
She draws a heavily alchemized dagger and advances slowly toward the beveragetable. "If Troll Ashton Kutcher shows up, I'm stabbing him in the face," she warns the empty room.
girls-just-wanna
miracle-of-miracles
"That. Is an interesting idea."
Ari alchemizes the car, then captchalogues it. "I can appearify it outside the door when you're ready to go so you don't have to, like, drive it through the doorframe."
first-and-final
"Thank you, that will be convenient. All right... I have these fancy silver lyrium daggers and this interesting sword; Sefton's found a few things; Katrin, are you satisfied with that wand?"
first-loyalty
"Well, now I'm wondering what would happen if you combined my staff with silver lyrium," she says. "In the spirit of experimentation."
miracle-of-miracles
"Your wish is my command," Ari says with an elaborate bow. He takes a picture of the staff and heads back to the alchemizer, then pauses. "D'you want to incorporate the wand as well?"
miracle-of-miracles
"He just- no, it isn't. Alchemy mishap. I fucking hate this guy. "
"No disassembl-"
The robot vanishes into Ari's sylladex. "You're a tin can, robots don't have feelings. Let's try this again, shall we?"
With a different set of buttons pressed, it produces: a large lyrium crystal, shaped like her staff. Ari swears under his breath. "I was worried about this. Long story short, the combination that would result in a working staff with the properties of your staff and silver lyrium instead produced that jackass, and trying to do the same thing in a different way just made staff-shaped lyrium. Got any more staves?"
"No disassembl-"
The robot vanishes into Ari's sylladex. "You're a tin can, robots don't have feelings. Let's try this again, shall we?"
With a different set of buttons pressed, it produces: a large lyrium crystal, shaped like her staff. Ari swears under his breath. "I was worried about this. Long story short, the combination that would result in a working staff with the properties of your staff and silver lyrium instead produced that jackass, and trying to do the same thing in a different way just made staff-shaped lyrium. Got any more staves?"
first-loyalty
"They're a bit bulky; I don't usually carry more than one. Unfortunately. ...What would happen if we did include the wand? Or some other ingredient?"
miracle-of-miracles
"That could work! Combining multiple items increases the risk of collision, but since the one-to-one already hits a Johnny coordinate, there's no harm in trying it, right? So, just the wand, or do you have something else you'd like to throw in there?
miracle-of-miracles
"Righty-oh."
Buttons buttons buttons STICK! Magic stick. Specifically, magic staff. The haft is an oddly organic combination of fluted glass and silver; at its base is a gently curving blade, and its cap is a clouded sapphire with the faint impression of a skull.
"Niiiiice."
first-loyalty
"I approve," says Katrin. She picks up the new staff; her eyes widen slightly. "I definitely approve."
miracle-of-miracles
"Yay!"
Ari hefts the surplus staff. "I could hit people with this pretty decently. This feels like a good hitting-people stick."
Ari hefts the surplus staff. "I could hit people with this pretty decently. This feels like a good hitting-people stick."
first-loyalty
"It will probably break eventually, and I'm not sure whether it might do mildly inconvenient magical things like become very cold unexpectedly, and it seems like an inefficient use of resources to take it from a world where it's a high-quality magical staff to a world where it is a good hitting-people stick."
miracle-of-miracles
"Fair enough."
He puts the staff back where he found it. Then he alchemizes another one and hefts that one instead.
He puts the staff back where he found it. Then he alchemizes another one and hefts that one instead.
first-loyalty
Katrin shrugs. She returns her old staff to its holder on her back and keeps the new one in her hand. (It's so pretty. And roughly twice as powerful as the original.)
miracle-of-miracles
Ari makes himself a combat dummy and utilizes his hitting-people stick.
"Anybody want to have recreational sex?" he asks offhandedly after a few minutes.
"Anybody want to have recreational sex?" he asks offhandedly after a few minutes.
first-and-final
This question is greeted with a puzzled and slightly awkward silence by all three adventurers, but Stalas is the one who recovers almost immediately and says, "No, thank you."
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