(To be fair, by Alternian standards this puts her somewhere just below Troll Mahatma Gandhi.)
At the moment, however, she is feeling decidedly unreasonable. Leo blew off her perfectly good advice to leave the goddamn sliding puzzle alone and kill himself into immortality, and what's worse, Alaine backed him up. She's used to him agreeing with her ruthless play style, but for some reason he felt like the pointless sidequests would be useful, and "it's not like we're in some kind of hurry, right?"
So, like the reasonable person she is, she stormed out of the computer room and went off to explore the meteor and steal people's stuff from the chests. So far she's found Sky's lacy underthings, a handful of boonbucks, Ari's lacy underthings (which she files away for later perusal), and more weapons than anyone could reasonably need, all of which have gone straight into her inventory.
She opens another door. It leads-
to a refreshmentblock?
She draws a heavily alchemized dagger and advances slowly toward the beveragetable. "If Troll Ashton Kutcher shows up, I'm stabbing him in the face," she warns the empty room.
"...I think if there had been a fiery meteor apocalypse, I would have noticed," says the inexplicable human in a quiet, thoughtful tone. "Arguably there's been an apocalypse, but it wasn't especially fiery or meteoric. And it didn't kill all but six humans. I wonder what's going on."
On closer inspection, his outfit is... a little weird, in a possibly familiar way. Hems and other edges tend to fade away into smoky wisps rather than end cleanly, and on the front of his pale grey tunic is a symbol: three wavy horizontal lines in a slightly darker grey, with something behind them that might be a white vertical bar or just a trick of the light.
An alternative to the "heraldry" idea is that she shops at Hot Topic a lot. Or whatever Hot Topic equivalent they have on whatever planet produces women with chitinous grey skin and candy-corn colored horns and dragonfly wings.
"Is this some kind of time travel bullshit? I hate time travel." She takes a closer look at his outfit. "That's... Is that supposed to be a God Tier outfit?"
When he moves - which he isn't doing much of, except to speak - the quasi-visible white bar on his shirt wavers between barely there and totally absent, and the rest of his outfit swirls subtly from one nearly identical shade of light grey to the next. Almost like shimmering velvet, except not very much like that at all.
Tentative assumptions established, she strides over to the bar and pounds on its surface. (A napkin appears beneath her fist; she ignores it.) "Hey! Drinkmonkey!" (Another napkin appears, pinned to one of her horns; she ignores it.) "Quit fondling yourself and serve your cust-"
A napkin adheres itself to her face. After some undignified flailing, she peels it off and reads it.
"Oh. The bar's a person and she'll give us a free drink apiece. Considerate of her."
She sits on one of the stools, soliciting and receiving a carafe of some kind of cheap soda.
She imbibes some of her vile beverage. "Pretty basic shit, really."
"How'd you get it, then?"
After a moment's thought, a pair of glasses appears on her face, and she blinks decisively at his clothes. A card appears in midair; she stabs it, and it vanishes into her inventory. She crushes the glasses in her fist, and they, too, disappear. "I'm alchemizing myself some of that bullshit magic fabric in red," she "explains".
"If it doesn't work I'll bully Ari's human kid into doing it for me," she shrugs. "And that sounds about right, actually. Guess you're playing the Game. Let me know if you've figured out the Ultimate Riddle, I've got a bet going with Alaine that it's actually just a knock-knock joke."
A grey-skinned young man in a bright purple codpiece walks in. He has two splintered horns on his head, and from his back sprout enormous jade-green butterfly wings. He looks around in delighted confusion.
"Cool, some kind of weird space bullshit! And it's full of humans! Hey, humans!"
Also, he is glowing faintly blue-white.
"I'm not sure," he says. "But in the time between coming in the door and opening it again, I met another person and had an entire conversation with her, and it seemed like you didn't think there had been enough time for that to happen in. I'm not sure whether that's a Fade thing or a this place thing, though."
He examines one of Zan's discarded napkins. "Huh, sentient bar. Could I get a slime cocktail?" He receives a faintly glowing viscous green beverage and a crazy straw.
Her outfit is less... radiant than Stalas's, but also bears a symbol on the front, although this one is less recognizable and partially obscured by a long open coat. She and Sefton have no wings. Maybe they're a dwarf thing.
"We appreciate the offer, but the place we came here from has numerous other hazards and we're not sure exactly what all of them are. Very few people have ever traveled there physically, and legend has it the last batch turned into horrible world-destroying monsters who have been plaguing us ever since."
"Well, I'm Bard of Rage, right? So according to my brother - he understands shit, that's his deal - I've got one of three paths I can go down. Invite destruction through hatred, allow hatred to be destroyed, or allow myself to be destroyed by hatred. For obvious reasons, I try to stick to the second of those, except when something really needs destroyed. But, uh, 'turned into a horrible monster that wants to kill everything' kind of sounds like being destroyed by hatred to me. Or close enough that you're better safe than sorry."
"Alchemizer's this machine that takes things and combines them into other things if you feed it grist - grist comes out of dead monsters, it's a thing. Anyway, it's handy for making random cool shit, but it's really good at weapons. Like, you can toss a weapon in there with pretty much any other object and it'll come out ready to massacre things. It's kind of a hobby of mine. As you might be able to tell."
Searching eventually turns up a silvery wand with a shining blue stone in its handle. The tip glows faintly cyan.
There's still some viable weapons in the stacks, though. Many basically just look like swords (or daggers, as the case may be). One pair of daggers emit a faint haze of caustic red smoke; another dagger glows with what would appear to be the shining light of Hope.
There's no Hope sword, but there is one which, when Stalas touches it, begins to burn a startlingly familiar shade of blue.
"Um, most kinds of magic, really, in our world's terms... I'm an outrageous fluke, most people with this much lyrium in them are either dead or well on their way. There are mostly-safe ways for mages like Katrin to power spells with it, and mostly-safe ways for dwarves or magically deadened non-dwarves to enchant weapons with it, and supposedly-safe ways for humans to use it to get special powers, but apparently the special powers come with an addiction that eventually destroys your mind, and all they seem to be good for is disrupting other magic of the same kind."
He turns back to Stalas. "And, yeah, what he said. I have a thingy that can get a card from something without actually taking the item. Can't use it for anything but alchemy, but you can use it for alchemy, so."
"I don't recommend breathing the fumes but they shouldn't actually kill you," he adds.
"Sorry if this is rude or something, but: I'm making this thing now." A large patch of floor space is abruptly occupied by a heinously complex-looking machine.
Ari runs over to it and begins fucking around with his cards, and eventually produces a bright blue crystalline scimitar. He brandishes it in delight. "Fuck yes!"
He cuts a fingertip on the edge of the sword and hisses under his breath. His blood is red, but sparkles with glimmers of lyrium blue. "Yeah. That's close to pure, all right." He conscientiously wipes the blood off the sword before he hands it back. "More lyrium would be... an interesting prospect. More lyrium weapons might be more interesting still."
"It's roughly the same kind of potential hazard as entering the Fade, but much more so and much more widely verified," Stalas explains. "If this is in fact red lyrium and not merely lyrium that happens to be red. You might be safest just leaving the room while we figure out how to dispose of it... the trouble is, there really isn't a way to dispose of it as such, the best we can do so far is break it into very small pieces and seal it in a warded container and lock it up. And we don't currently have access to any of the appropriate equipment." He contemplates the ominously glowing daggers unhappily.
The gesture causes a drop of blood to fly from his hand. It lands on one of the red daggers. There is a crackling hissing noise, and the spot where the blood touched the crystal turns from red to a bright silvery white. Stalas yelps with surprise. "What the fuck just happened!"
He flicks a few more drops of blood at the daggers. As more and more white spots appear, their glow brightens and the angry red aura of the red lyrium correspondingly dims. The white begins to spread out from the points of contact. Stalas stands back slightly and waits.
Then there are two daggers made of silver lyrium.
"Admittedly they feel much less evil now. Katrin, Sefton?"
He picks up a dagger. It glows softly, the same blue-white as the rest of him.
"...Okay, I'm not hearing crazy singing or feeling any urges to keep it under my pillow at night. That's a good start, right? So apparently I can turn red lyrium into... white? Silver?" He studies the dagger. "I'm calling it silver. Silver lyrium. I think this is genuinely the strangest thing that has happened to me today."
A red lyrium dagger appears on the platform, followed shortly by about a pint of sparkling blood, which splatters pretty much everywhere, since Ari forgot to alchemize a container for it.
"Dammit!"
He pauses. "Actually, how would you like to have a- vehicle that goes very fast and can carry things in itself? Because, useful, and also it'd let you carry quite a bit more magic blood."
"...Potentially we would like that a lot, but how exactly does the vehicle... go? Because if it can't fly or something—I'm imagining trying to take even an extremely well-designed wagon through the Fade and out the rift and through the fortress, and the imaginary wagon isn't holding up terribly well."
"No disassembl-"
The robot vanishes into Ari's sylladex. "You're a tin can, robots don't have feelings. Let's try this again, shall we?"
With a different set of buttons pressed, it produces: a large lyrium crystal, shaped like her staff. Ari swears under his breath. "I was worried about this. Long story short, the combination that would result in a working staff with the properties of your staff and silver lyrium instead produced that jackass, and trying to do the same thing in a different way just made staff-shaped lyrium. Got any more staves?"
"Righty-oh."
Buttons buttons buttons STICK! Magic stick. Specifically, magic staff. The haft is an oddly organic combination of fluted glass and silver; at its base is a gently curving blade, and its cap is a clouded sapphire with the faint impression of a skull.
"Niiiiice."
"It will probably break eventually, and I'm not sure whether it might do mildly inconvenient magical things like become very cold unexpectedly, and it seems like an inefficient use of resources to take it from a world where it's a high-quality magical staff to a world where it is a good hitting-people stick."