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In a bar, there is a girl.
She looks like she has saved up all of her decadent and slothful impulses for a solid decade and is indulging them all at once. She is sprawled on a couch with a book she's only half-reading, and an ice cream sundae, and smiiiiiiling.
kithabel and milan in milliways
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ertia
first-and-final
"Addy neglected to mention this and now I apparently have a magical vampire crush on you!" exclaims Milan. "It's very disconcerting! ...Actually not all that surprising in retrospect, but I was sure surprised when it happened!"
first-and-final
"Apparently. And apparently one which will be magically reciprocated if you, too, turn into a vampire."
ertia
"That's, um, a thing. Are you going to be sad if I decide this is too much of a thing."
first-and-final
"...Not that sad, I don't think," he says after a moment of internal consultation. "Moderately, tolerably sad. Honestly I'd be more frustrated that we got that close to you being able to cheat almost as hard as I can at sorcery and then this weird awkward property of vampirism got in the way. Like, that's terrible."
ertia
"Because, like... when I decided to be a sorceress I basically decided I was limiting my social life to my parents and like... business contacts. I like you, and everything, and there's Milliways to make it less of a tradeoff to have other uses of my time, but I hadn't swung all the way into actually thinking about it yet."
first-and-final
"Well, it's not like you don't have time to think it over," says Milan.
taste_tester
"Till I meet someone more interesting than you in the bar. But he could turn you too. Doesn't look like he's the least bit inclined to go all newborny and accidentally kill you."
first-and-final
"Yeah, even if I were in any way uncertain about my ability to peaceably bite you, I didn't get the impression that literal biting was actually required? So Addy is totally not necessary to this process."
taste_tester
"Just have to introduce venom into the system."
ertia
"This is very much a, like, quaternary concern, but will I have a scar like that?"
taste_tester
"No. Well, probably not. You have fewer weird things going on than he does and it's not normal."
first-and-final
"I'm as certain as it gets that the scar is the curse's fault," says Milan. "The curse has strong opinions about scars. It made me inherit some of my dad's."
first-and-final
"...I'm not sure... how useful a description I can give? It's like having a crush on you, while being a vampire." He waves at his intricately dancing streams of water. "Witness the expanded attentional capacity of vampires."
ertia
...Kithabel looks at the expanded attentional capacity of vampires.
"Did you notice it before you found me or only after?"
"Did you notice it before you found me or only after?"
first-and-final
"Only after. In retrospect there might've been something beforehand but when I looked at you is when it became extremely noticeable."
ertia
"Is this starting from scratch or did you previously have a normal nonmagical crush on me?"
first-and-final
"...I don't think I did? Humans do not have perfect memories, but I definitely don't remember ever noticing having a crush on you so if I did it was a pretty subtle one."
ertia
"Like, does this change any other plans, particularly, do we spend ages in Milliways being," she gestures at Addy, "gooey about it, what happens."
first-and-final
He considers this.
"...I suspect that there would be significant time spent in Milliways being gooey about it," he says. "I'm not sure about other plans. The basic trajectory of our lives doesn't seem like it would have to shift much if instead of going to Milliways to sleep we went to Milliways to indulge in magical vampire romance. Except I guess I would be strongly motivated to keep living in your world, or ask you to move to mine, after I go home and overthrow the gods. ...And if I go home and fail to overthrow the gods you might be very sad so it would be a good idea to wait until you can resurrect the dead to try that, but that was already going to be a good idea purely on practical grounds..."
"...I suspect that there would be significant time spent in Milliways being gooey about it," he says. "I'm not sure about other plans. The basic trajectory of our lives doesn't seem like it would have to shift much if instead of going to Milliways to sleep we went to Milliways to indulge in magical vampire romance. Except I guess I would be strongly motivated to keep living in your world, or ask you to move to mine, after I go home and overthrow the gods. ...And if I go home and fail to overthrow the gods you might be very sad so it would be a good idea to wait until you can resurrect the dead to try that, but that was already going to be a good idea purely on practical grounds..."