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(Little squeak)

"Well. You've - ah! - met. Met one."
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"True. I hadn't before."

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"Yup. Learning experience for us all. I know what a griffin is. You've met a person who didn't, didn't know what a griffin was."

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"They're fairly common paladin mounts, you know."

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"Smuggler. I don't exactly ah, hang around. Paladins. And their flying griffin mounts." (Don't look down don't look down aaaaah)

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"It's almost entirely griffins and pegasi. Our order has one person on a unicorn, from an order that does less flying."

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"Less flying. From a paladin. How interesting. Flying is so. Great. It is great. Gets you places faster."

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"Unicorns can run very fast, but unfortunately putting you on one would require asking you personal questions first."

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"Personal questions? Why would personal questions be required?"

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"Unicorns abhor contact with non-virgins."

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"Oh. Charming. Good for paladins, because of the, the thing, okay, how interesting."

(He hasn't stopped speaking in a slightly higher pitch this entire time.)
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"Yes, the thing."

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"Yup. The thing. The thing with paladins. Besides the - the - sword and griffin and - and glowy thing."

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"Actually, not all orders require chastity, but ours and the one that uses all those unicorns do."

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"Okay. Great. Why the - the difference, is it the unicorns, are they very demanding unicorns for their fantastic ground based travel?"

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"Winter Light doesn't assign new paladins unicorns. It's just to reduce distractions and conflicting loyalties for us."

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"What. No - no - couples that go fight dark things together, bonding experience, go on a honeymoon, kill some zombies, go vacationing to some islands, kill shadow things... It'd be great."

He is babbling, by this point.
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"I'm pretty sure that's not customary even in orders that don't call for chastity - are you okay?"

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"Fine, totally fine, I am absolutely fine, why wouldn't I be."

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"Well, you're babbling. I promise Ragnar won't drop you."

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"Oh, great, yes, don't drop me, that would be bad, I would die."

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"That would be the principal disadvantage, yes. We can land a bit sooner than planned and walk the rest of the way? Once we're over the mountains?"

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"It's fine, I am fine. Look, I'm talking, isn't that great, I didn't talk before, this is improvement."

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"If you say so. I can't read your mind, you know."

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"Mind reading doesn't seem very paladiny. I'd be surprised if you could."

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