Which was the point I've been trying to make for months, she does not say.

"Yeah, exactly. I'm actually kinda curious about what it's even like."

"I guess it wouldn't be free for you anymore."

"Not while this hasn't been resolved, no."

"I dunno, it's mostly just boring."

"Just talking a lot, or some specific kind of boring?"

"Just talking a lot about really vague stuff."

"And you don't feel it's changed anything?"

"Nah."

"Well, it's probably not doing any harm anyway," she shrugs.

"Yeah, no, it's not doing that either."

She chats with him a bit more but then returns to Isabella because it's a Saturday and they have a lot of time to make up for.

Oh yes they do.

But the weekend doesn't last forever, and eventually Isabella has to put her back on a train.

So she does. And Sadde returns to Renée's place.

Renée picks her up.

And so it goes. More days, spent mostly thinking about magic and mooching off Isabella's family. And fretting. Tobias calls once, probably just wanting Sadde to be reminded he exists and to hang up on him, which they do. And of course, it works. They're reminded. They keep mulling over it. They have a lot of time to mull over it, and not do anything with their time, and be useless.

So one day—when Renée is at work and Alex is at school—Sadde gathers his stuff and writes a note:

Before anything, I want to thank you for all your help. I can't put how much this meant to me to words. I'm not saying goodbye, or anything like it, and I won't just disappear. But I need some space and time to sort myself out, and to feel like I'm not a terrible burden, even though you would probably say I'm not. I'll keep in touch.

- Sadde

He writes a longer and more personal note, addressed specifically to Isabella, explaining a bit more of what he's feeling and saying it's not her fault and it's just something he needs for his own mental health and that he'll call them as soon as he can, and he tells her he loves her very much and will miss her but it won't really be a significant change from the forced schedule of only seeing her every now and then anyway.

He ponders his options. The last time he was bereft of somewhere to stay, he dealt pretty well—considering—with being in the wilderness. But he could do better. Spending money to have a place to stay isn't necessary if he buys the appropriate things, he will only need to find places to shower, and also to find somewhere to work so he won't be completely moneyless. He actually saved a reasonable amount over the months, given that his only expenses were luxuries like presents, but he should be smart about this.

He goes to town and purchases a few helpful items—sleeping bag, tent, all that jazz—then goes to his old friend, the wilderness. Where he wanders for a bit to look for somewhere to stay. And wanders and wanders and it's getting a bit dark and he's not completely sure where he is anymore but that's alright and look there's a nice cave so he goes into it—

It is a nice cave! It doesn't have too many branches and it's surprisingly well-lit even as he gets deeper into its recesses.

...well, that's interesting. Maybe it's actually a tunnel? He explores further inside.

It's pretty tunnely.

It's got an exit out the back.

It's raining.

He came from Arizona.

It. Uh. It really wasn't raining, before. Uh. Umbrella and cautiously and slowly walk outside...

Yup, that's rain, really coming down too. Thunder! Lightning! Darkness!

Okay what. What the. What. Why is it. Raining. Where. What. What's going on.

He goes further outside because what.

Apart from the thing where he was in Arizona a minute ago, the rain seems pretty normal!

But he's now definitely not Arizona. This is a jungle, with huge, widely-spaced trees, some of them skyscraper-size -

- a flash of lightning illuminates something off to the left that looks more like a dinosaur than like anything else Sadde can call to mind -

- the next flash, it's a lot closer.

Did he go back in time or something no stop thinking just run—

It's pretty slippery, and the tunnel let out on a slope. And it's dark.

No fuck he can—okay he'll try to go back later for now he'll just try to put space between him and the whatever-it-was, he looks over his shoulder—