Why did you let your sister make something like that, they'll say. If anyone lets my sister do anything I have yet to see it, I'll say.

Your sister has great judgment and you should join us, it's not hard at all. 

I will help you make this atrocious hat but I refuse to wear it.

I was not planning to wear the hat unless someone attempts appointing me King, in which case on goes the hat. 

Wait, is that, like, likely?

Halls no. 

You kept bringing it up, is all.

I have a brother who actually wants the job and will be good at it. When the King steps down it's all Nelyo's, and if Nelyo never marries or has kids my father has five more sons to throw the cursed thing at. 

...But you are in fact a prince?

My condolences on being inextricably tied to politics.

It is the absolute worst. 

I land in a magical kingdom after fleeing my family's undeserved disgrace and immediately meet a beautiful prince who can talk to animals? When the hell did my life turn into a fairy tale.

I am only a little bit unusually pretty for the Eldar. 

What, really?

Yep. My older brother - he of the 'wants the crown' - is remarkably so, and so's my father.  Not that either of them have the temperament to enjoy it. I am more flirtatious; perhaps you're confusing the two. 

No you are literally the prettiest person I've ever met by a landslide.

Well then I should keep you out here in the woods so you can consider thinking so. It's wonderful for my ego.

So everyone's pretty in Paradise, huh?

I think that's just an Eldar thing. We have a lot of control over our bodies. And we care a lot about prettiness. That's why an ugly hat could do what nothing else could. 

And your eyesight was way better. ...Are we even the same species?

And we can't do the dream thing and you don't have the telepathy...

And you're really tall.

Again, not unusually so. 

Not for your species, apparently.

Wonder what else. I'd suggest arm-wrestling to tell if we're stronger but that I am unusually good at. 

I fight dirty anyway.