I really can't disagree with you.

Course not. Down south is where I like the highest proportion of people, for what that's worth. 

It's certainly worth something.

It's also the most socially liberal, I don't know what your world considers normal or if that's a thing you care about...

You could say that.

You could also say that she came this close to breaking a guy's hand once after one too many misogynistic come-ons.

That is not a problem I'd expect you to experience anywhere. The Eldar are very very sexually conservative. Pretty sexist, but mostly in politics, which fuck politics. But yeah, might like it down south. 

The Eldar?

Those of our species who live in Valinor. I didn't want to tar the people I've never met with the same brush. 

Have you met everyone in Valinor, then? she asks teasingly.

Way too many of them. 

Poor soul.

Hardly your fault.

I promise you, I'm sympathizing, not apologizing. If it were my fault everyone was insufferable it would involve silly hats or something else more sensible than politics.

If they make the mistake of putting me in charge perhaps I'd mandate silly hats. No, people'd probably just take that deathly seriously. 

I wonder if there's a limit to how silly you can make them before they stop doing that?

Oooh, there's got to be. I think if I mandated they be ugly people'd stop cooperating. 'Who put him in charge', they'd say, and maybe notice the silliness of the whole system. 

She sends him an image of a sombrero piled high with wax fruits in assorted unnatural, clashing colors.

I think you might have done it! We have a hat that would get Tirion to reconsider monarchy!

She might be laughing enough to make breathing harder, at this point.

Good. That's much better than crying. 

I almost want to make this hat. As a testament to the pointlessness of political drama.

Do you know how to weave hay? We could do it - though I'd use wax fruit, the real thing'll get bruised and look less pretty...

Yeah, definitely wax. I...have a vague idea of how to weave hay?

I can do it! Or show you. Wax'll be easier since you have Talks-to-bees here with you, otherwise it's a bit of a pain...